This is precisely how/why People just need to keep Certain-Things to themselves. As we all know: Social-Media is a Haven for Pseudo-Validation: everyone wants to be recognized/accepted by someone via something. Yeah…it’s Human-Nature, I get it. But, at the Same-Time: at which Point do we as People cease pursuing Attention-Addiction?!!! It’s like via the Social-Media Age: we’ve all allowed ourselves to just spill-out so many Unnecessary-Things about our Personal-Selves, our Private-Lives, etc. for nothing else than to portray the Classic/Typical “Damsel-In-Distress/Woe-Is-Me” Mythos/Pseudo-Narrative. I definitely plan on granting Several-Examples of precisely what I mean, as well as my Responses to them.
Now, as per what I’ve aforementioned (regarding the “Relationship Cry-Baby”). Yeah…that’s a Real-Thing. I’ve literally seen it manifest itself, my Entire-Life, both professionally & personally. The Relationship Cry-Baby literally wants to blame/fault anyone, everyone, etc. as per Negativity/Toxicity via their Lives. But, they’re never willing to fess-up to the Role which they played in how/why they self-imposed Negativity/Toxicity upon themselves. As a Chaplain (Counselor/Therapist), I constantly/consistantly come across dealing with Relationship Cry-Babies. These’re Persons whom pontificate/claim that they want/need Relationship-Healing, yet ironically they only desire for the Healing to be 1-Sided. By that, I mean this: they audaciously/arrogantly only want People to correct Others & they themselves to be given “Passes” as per the Goofy-Shit they do.
Certain-People often always are quick to point at Others, pontificating the “Red-Flags” of Others, etc. (meaning, the Negative/Toxic-Characteristics of Other-People). Also, very often there’re Certain-Persons whom pontificate/claim: “I ignored the Red-Flags.” & there’s a Sabab/Reason for this. It’s because we, as Humans, individually…all of us…etc.: we’re literally the Red-Flags ourselves. The Way Allah chose to create al-Insān/Humanity…as Human-Beings: we’re each/all the Mirrors of one another. We all possess equally Positivity & Negativity. The Difference, however, is that we each have al-Mashī’ah/Freewill. We make Choices, Decisions, etc. thus determining whether we go Right or Left…Positive or Negative…Righteous or Wretched…etc.
Any&all Positivity/Negativity which we see, via Other-Humans, are merely Reflections of whatever Positivity/Negativity we possess internally. It’s simply that Judgmentalism is the Order of the Day via Apathy…as I always say: It’s easy to judge People, when our Sins aren’t Public-Knowledge. At This-Point, I’ll explain the Difference between Judgment vs. Judgmentalism…Judgment is comprised of what I’ve coined as the “4-C’s of Judgment”:
a. Critique
b. Criticism
c. Correction
d. Condemnation
If/once anyone imposes the 4-C’s of Judgment upon ourselves, as we would anyone else…this is acceptable. It’s because we then recognize/accept the Reality that we’re just as imperfect as those whom we judge. But, if/once we exclusively impose the 4-C’s of Judgment upon Others & not ourselves…this is a Serious-Problem. It’s because then we actually think/feel that we’re “Perfect”. But, al-Ihsān/Perfection only belongs to Allah…this is how/why one of the Names-Of-Allah is Al-Muhsin/The Perfect. In All-Reality, only Allah is entitled/justified to be Judgmental & that’s how/why one of Their Names is Al-Hakam/The Justifiably-Judgmental.
Sadly though: instead of holding ourselves responsible/accountable, as per the Goofy-Shit we do, we always want to “Shift the Goal-Post”. As per Human-Nature, People never want to be Wrong. And, because of That-Fact we always wish to dodge Responsibility/Accountability. And, ironically, that always makes our Lives worse.
Gareth Bryant 1444, A.H./2023, C.E.
Gareth Bryant 