https://fb.watch/ky9U4iZ7TK/?mibextid=Nif5oz
Christina Randall is 💯%-Unentitled/Unjustified to complain about one of their Former Fellow-Inmates taking their Man from them. They did that to themselves. They’re the one whom admitted that they didn’t care about/love the Man whom was holding them down while they were incarcerated. Essentially, they were using That-Man. Also, moreover, if you’re not married to someone they don’t owe you anything. They’ve just got to take That-L. Scenarios like these are precisely what I mean, regarding People whom’re addicted to Blame/Fault-Culture. They’re unentitled/unjustified to lay claim to the “Damsel-In-Distress/Woe-Is-Me” Card. They’re not a “Victim”, rather they’re a Casualty of their own Stupidity.
“And don’t be led to Destruction, via your own Hands.”…”Those whom believe pay attention: Upon you are yourselves.”…”Verily, Allah doesn’t change what’s within any People unless/until they change what’s within themselves.”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.2, V.195; Chpt.13, V.11)
Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated: “Apathy/Arrogance is denying Truth, as well as disrespecting People.”.
(an-Nawawī)
As a Chaplain (Counselor/Therapist), I’ve a Bird’s-Eye Vantage-Point into the Intricacies of Human-Nature/Behavior. Amongst These-Intricacies are: the Will/Want to be irresponsible for any/all of the Goofy-Shit which we as Humans do, wanting to blame/fault Others for Goofy-Shit we’ve literally chosen & imposed upon ourselves, wanting to do whatever we want in lieu of any Consequence, etc. These are literally Things which I’m faced with, all the Time, whenever I engage any of my Counseling/Therapy-Clientele. Those-Intricacies of Human-Nature/Behavior play-out via any/all Human-Relationships. Certain-People always want to be granted the “Damsel-In-Distress/Woe-Is-Me” Card. I’m going to detail Several-Examples.
1. “Red-Flag” Culture
Certain-People often always are quick to point at Others, pontificating the “Red-Flags” of Others. Meaning, the Negative/Toxic-Characteristics of Other-People. Also, very often there’re Certain-Persons whom pontificate/claim: “I ignored the Red-Flags.” & there’s a Sabab/Reason for this. It’s because we, as Humans, individually…all of us…etc.: we’re literally the Red-Flags ourselves. The Way Allah chose to create al-Insān/Humanity…as Human-Beings: we’re each/all the Mirrors of one another. We all possess equally Positivity & Negativity. The Difference, however, is that we each have al-Mashī’ah/Freewill. We make Choices, Decisions, etc. thus determining whether we go Right or Left…Positive or Negative…Righteous or Wretched…etc. Any&all Positivity/Negativity which we see, via Other-Humans, are merely Reflections of whatever Positivity/Negativity we possess internally. It’s simply that Judgmentalism is the Order of the Day via Apathy…as I always say: It’s easy to judge People, when our Sins aren’t Public-Knowledge. At This-Point, I’ll explain the Difference between Judgment vs. Judgmentalism…Judgment is comprised of what I’ve coined as the “4-C’s of Judgment”:
a. Critique
b. Criticism
c. Correction
d. Condemnation
If/once anyone imposes the 4-C’s of Judgment upon ourselves, as we would anyone else…this is acceptable. It’s because we then recognize/accept the Reality that we’re just as imperfect as those whom we judge. But, if/once we exclusively impose the 4-C’s of Judgment upon Others & not ourselves…this is a Serious-Problem. It’s because then we actually think/feel that we’re “Perfect”. But, al-Ihsān/Perfection only belongs to Allah…this is how/why one of the Names-Of-Allah is Al-Muhsin/The Perfect. In All-Reality, only Allah is entitled/justified to be Judgmental & that’s how/why one of Their Names is Al-Hakam/The Justifiably-Judgmental.
2. Fathers/Mothers and Children
Notice I didn’t mention “Parents”, but only “Fathers/Mothers”: there’s a Difference between being someone’s Father/Mother & being their Parent. Only Biology makes People Fathers/Mothers…Commitment to positively cultivate one’s Offspring makes People Parents. I say this, definitively, because there’s those whom wish to blame/fault the World for the Destructive-Natures of the Monsters whom’re their Offspring. Nay…they got a lot of This-Shit via the Dereliction/Inaction of their Fathers/Mothers via Social-Inheritance. No one is born a Bad-Ass. However, from the 2nd-Trimester to Age-10: any/all Positive or Negative Human-Experiences affects us (as Humans) potentially/perpetually for the rest of our Lives. And, that’s almost exclusively predicated upon one’s own Personal-Upbringing. Now, People must own-up to their Failures (as per failing their Offspring). But, sadly, Most-Fathers/Mothers won’t ever do this…this requires Humility. Ironically, it really starts with People recognizing, accepting, admitting, etc. that they’ve pursued the Wrong-Women to be the Mothers of their Children & chosen the Wrong-Men to be Fathers of their Children. Most-Persons honestly aren’t even concerned about the Character/Quality of the Fathers/Mothers of their Chikdren…they’re almost exclusively concerned about Suckin&Fuckin.
3. Significant-Others
Sexual-Partners…Oh Yeah, this is going to get a Lil-Messy. Piggybacking on what was previously-aforementioned: Most-Men&Women only pursue/choose whom they’re attracted to, as opposed to whom’s good for them…as I always tell People: Men pursue Women…Women choose Men. Men&Women, as per Sexuality, function/operate largely based upon Relationship-Patterns. These-Patterns have been highly-influenced/dominated by their Upbringings…Social-Inheritance again. There’s Men whom pursue constantly/consistently the Same-Types/Kinds of Women & then audaciously/arrogantly complain about those Same-Women. Likewise, there’s Women whom choose the Same-Types/Kinds of Men & then audaciously/arrogantly complain about those Same-Men. To Men…Those-Women are simply whom they are: you’re the Problem & to Women…Those-Men are simply whom they are: you’re the Problem. Men aren’t entitled/justified to judge the Same-Women they’ve consciously-pursued…Women aren’t entitled/justified to judge the Same-Men they’ve chosen. Albert Einstein said it best: “Insanity is continuously doing the Same-Things expecting Different-Results.”…as I always tell People: Apathy is worse than Ignorance…Stupidity is not a “Flex”.
4. The Company we keep
The Statement “Birds of a Feather flock together.” is an Underrated-Idiom. There’s Lots of Truth/Honesty via That-Statement. Humans are, of course, Social-Creatures/Beings. And, based upon That-Fact, we identify Persons predicated upon Specific-Factors, Spaces/Places People frolic to, Things which People indulge in jointly, etc. I’ll detail Examples of what I mean. Criminal-Culture…if you see a Bunch of People hanging-out with Known-Criminals: the Logical-Conclusion is that People will assume that you’re a Criminal as well. So, Basic-Intelligence should tell anyone…if they don’t want to be associated with Criminality then don’t fraternize with Criminals. Jail/Prison-Culture…if someone’s chilling with Persons whom’re of Specific-Cliques, Particular-Gangs, Opposing-Factions, etc. & Shit gets 2 happenin…the Logical-Conclusion is to target anyone known to be amongst them. Another Jail/Prison-Example…if someone’s around the Snitches, the Homos, the Sex-Offenders, etc.-Now, as per the Unwritten-Rules of Jail/Prison-Culture: whoever is around them is amongst them. So, if you don’t slide to That-Side then don’t politic with those Individuals. THOT-Culture…if you’re a Woman whom befriends Female-THOTs: in the Minds/Hearts of Average-Men you’re a Smut too. Likewise, if a Man is Friends with Male-THOTs: 9/10 the Average-woman will assume you’re a Womanizer as well. So, if you don’t wish to be aligned with those Types/Kinds of Persons then don’t have Friends like them. Subtance-Abuse…if there’s Individuals whom you know whom’re Strung-Out on Intoxicants & let’s say they dwell in a Trap-House or some sort of Raggidy/Sketchy-Situation: if someone’s seen frequenting where Junkies are it’s naturally going to be concluded that they’re Junkies also. So, unless you want to be associated with being a Junkie…stay out of the Junkie-Terrain.
5. Misery&Unliveliness
This results from any Human-Experience which triggers and/or reminds us of Negative-Times, Challenging-Happenings via our Existence within ad-Dunyā/the Mundane. If/when any Person loses what’s known as the “Will to live”-Naturally, Most-People will in fact think/feel that someone just wants to hang it up & end their Lives. It’s not always like this. There’s truly an Abundance of Complexities/Complications via someone’s Life-Experiences which cause Unliveliness. More often than not: a Person may simply not want their Life as is and/or they may want to live the Lives of Others whom they know, know of. It’s very probable that they don’t view who they are individually as valuable, meaningful, purposeful, important, etc. They very often may actually fantasize and/or become addicted to whom they see/view via T.V., Film, Entertainment, Porn, Online, Social-Media, etc. Then, they may wish to live the Lives they’re stimulated by as if intoxicated with wanting to be anyone/everyone externally of themselves. This-Concept “Living my Best-Life” is literally one of the Culprits of Personality-Addiction/Worship: it’s actually a Grave-Facade. Whenever Most-People conceptualize That-Mythos, it’s exclusively pertaining to Mundane-Gains & Material-Pleasures…as Allah states: “And the Mundane-Life is only the Matā`/Enjoyment of al-Ghurūr/Illusion.”. None of Those-Things will ever yield as-Sa`ādah/Happiness…as-Sa`ādah can never be externally acquired, rather, it must always be introspectively/interally fostered&cultivated: as-Sa`ādah is a Personal-Responsibility. Ironically, one of the Major-Reasons how/why so/too man Human-Relationships are negative, toxic, etc. and/or fail is because as Humans we audaciously/arrogantly expect Other-People to make us “happy”. But, it’s humanly impossible to make anyone happy, except ourselves…like I always tell People: No one can make us happy, but anyone can make us miserable. And, when they continuously see Person-After-Person disappointing them, worse yet making them miserable (because they refuse to find as-Sa`ādah intrapersonally) they delve further into a Spiritual/Psycho-Emotional Abyss.
More often than not…we as People get caught-up in Situations, Tragedies, Conflicts, etc. And albeit there’s 0-Justification to tolerate/accept Oppression via anyone. Yet, at the Same-Time: we must always recognize/accept & ponder upon whether or not we’ve brought Certain-Things upon ourselves. This is just like the Final-Scene from the Film “Platoon”, directed by Oliver Stone: “We did not defeat the Enemy, we defeated ourselves…because the Enemy was in us.”. Naturally, there’s always Immense-Resistence if/whenever I invite those whom I counsel to self-analyze/examine themselves. It’s Human-Nature to never want to be “Wrong”, “Incorrect”, etc. But, if we refuse to recognize/accept when we fuck-up, then we’ll never self-improve That-Way. And, that’s truly what it’s all about…it’s about at-Tahsīn/Improvement.
Gareth Bryant
Gareth Bryant 