Tag Archives: Integrity

Apathetic Times

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We live in the days of Malice…
…selfishness make us callous.

All we desire is to pursue our own wants…
…we live by immorality, demonic thoughts.

All day in, all day out…
…we complain & shout.

Forgetting just all too often…
…to be grateful for something.

We look down upon those who have less…
…thinking material things equal success.

It’s like we only concern ourselves with Fashion’s latest trends…
…or how many millions our favorite celebrity makes and spends.

We worry too much about when’s the next time we will eat Steak or Lobster…
…while millions of People on the Planet die because they lack clean Water.

But, in the end, we just chase the Illusion…
…to an dauntingly never ending conclusion.

We perceive that this is all there is to life…
…attaining things while causing others strife.

There will be a day when we will regret not caring for one another…
…we’ll be shamed for treating our fellow Man as less than a brother.

There will be fear, we will shed tears…
…and know that this day is very near.

Gareth Bryant/2015

Muslims Giving Back’s annual participation at the annual AFSP: Out Of the Darkness Overnight promoting Suicide-Awareness & Suicide-Prevention

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Donate to the efforts of Muslims Giving Back below…Support Project: #Walk4life:

http://www.theovernight.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donordrive.participant&participantID=13648

The Causes & Dangers of Bullying:

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To put it very simply: Bullying is a form of Oppression & Allah clearly states, within His book how dreadful & harmful Oppression truly is, “”.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.2, V.221; Chpt.5, V.32; Chpt.7, V.33; Chpt.8, V.25)

Let’s face it: in all-reality, we’ve all either been the perpetrators of or the victims of Bullying. This fact is completely undeniable: we have all either been picked-on, either as lil’-kids, or have ourselves, picked-on other lil’-kids. Bullying, for a very long time, within our Human-Experience has been an unwritten acceptable way to downgrade, berate, dehumanize other Humans, for the sake of our own personal-amusement and/or expression of how powerful we are, over others. This is something, however natural that many may view it is a very severe wrong, an evil, which plagues all of us, from the greatest among us, to the least among us: Bullying is the reason why people are driven to Suicide, Homicide, criminality, and all  sorts of (negative) vices. Bullying is the reason why people go to war against one another, why people feel that they only way to resolve their problems, issues, differences with others is via violence.

People are victimized by Bullying, all of te time, for various different reasons, some of these reasons are the following…

1. Religion

2. Ethnic-Background

3. Disabilities

4. National-Origin

5. Sexual-Orientation

6. Family-Ties

7. Socio-Economic Status

…and this list can go on, forever…

…I, myself, have definitely been on bot ends of the Bullying spectrum: I was once the kid that people would pick-on, because I was short, wasn’t as athletic as everyone else was, because my father had died when I was young, because I even had a father, while others, whom were envious of this, not having their own fathers in their lives, because my mom would keep me out of the street, causing many of my peers to taunt & tease me,accusing me of being a momma’s-boy, teasing me about not being able to stay-out as late as they did, etc. Then, I get a lil’ older, by this time, I’m in Junior High School/High School: from 9th grade, onward, I began being the bully, helping my friends from school rob people, from our own school, from other schools, kids, good-kids, whom were just like me: kids with hard-working parents whom loved them, whom sent them to school, to get educated, not to get robbed, beaten and/or dehumanized.

However, sadly, ironically, it was a classic example of how a typical cycle works:

Category# 1- Someone whom wants to be so popular, so relevant, so recognized, so important, as a result of some type of emptiness, within themselves, they feel the need to make others feel low-this is by far the worst of the categories mentioned. They have this arrogance: this posture that they are everything & those whom are not them and/or are not like them are nothing, that they have no value, as in the case of ash-Shaytan/the Devil, the ultimate-bully, whom refused to obey a command from Allah, because of his arrogance, and thus, pledged/vowed to Allah that he would, for the rest of his material-existence, bully the Human-Race, until we are misguided, just like he is.(Noble Qur’an: Cpht.2, V.34; Chpt.7, V.11-18; Chpt.15, V.30-39; Chpt.17, V.60-65; Chpt.38, V.71-81)

Category# 2- Someone with a chip on their shoulder, whom was never embraced positively by anyone, or was cultivated upon any form of positivity, takes things into their own hands, and sets out to make people feel just as bad, sad, negative, about themselves as they were made to feel, once upon a time.

Category# 3- Those whom are victimized by those in category one feel helpless, as if doing the same thing to others will make things right, or at least make feel more positive about themselves, which, really, never works.

Category # 4- Someone whom has been victimized by Bullying, yet, does nothing about it: they don’t resist Bullying, they don’t tell parents, teachers, grown-ups, friends, community-leaders, etc., they just accept being the victims of Bullying, without fighting back against it.

In the Bullying-Cycle, these respective categories play-out, along with one another & actually intertwine with one another. But, what I really wanna focus on is not how interconnected these categories are, but, more so, how many of these categories, if any, do we, as Muslims, we as Human beings, actually fall under. In other words, how many of us are a part of the Bullying-Cycle, how many of us fall under any/all categories, within the Bullying-Cycle? It’s a serious-question, which all of us, as Muslims, People of Conscious, People of Consequence, Human beings, etc., must answer for ourselves. Then, if our answers bring us to the conclusion that we fall under one or all of the categories, of the Bullying-Cycle, then we must ask ourselves, “How did I even become affected by the Bullying Cycle?” “Why did I consciously decide to bully someone/anyone, regardless to whether I, myself, were ever victimized by Bullying?” and “Why did I not resist being a Bully and/or why did I not resist being bullied?”

Granted, none of these questions are very easy to answer, depending upon the individual, of course. But, still, each & ever one of those questions has an answer, an intelligent answer, and we all have an obligation to Allah, the Creator/Lord of the Universe, then, ourselves, then, to all those victimized by Bullying, to answer these questions, honestly/accurately. And, when we don’t stand-up, to our own demons, within us, or in our pasts & begin to deal with the reality which surrounds Bullying, as well as its innumerably (negative) consequences, the damage to ourselves, our families/loved-ones, our friends/neighbors, classmates, and all of Humanity, as we know it could be very well rendered hopeless in salvaging what’s left of our already depleting sense of Humanity, towards our fellow Man.

I choose to end with this: from this day forward, whenever/wherever you see Bullying taking place, we must stop it, in any Humanway possible, as Muhammad (Peace be upon him) has told us that “Whomever witnesses wring/oppression, he must eliminate it by his hand; if he’s not able, then, he must eliminate it by his speach/words; if he is not able, then, he must rsent it internally (within his heart). However, that (internal hatred for wrong/oppression) is the lowest (level) of Faith.”. And there is also this statement of Allah that Muhammad quotes, “Oh, My Slaves (Property/Creation)!!! Verily, I’ve even made Oppression prohibited against Myself, as well as between you all. So,do not oppress one another.”.(an-Nawawi)

Gareth Bryant/2013

Stay away from Backbitting & Slander!!!

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Allah says in His noble book: “Oh, you who believe!!! If a Sinner comes to you with news, verify. Or else, you’ll harm people out of ignorance, then regret what you’ve done.”(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.49, V.6)

Very recently, I was given some negative-news about someone…the news was very vile, to say the least, and angered me a great deal, just because this person whom I was told about, I have an immense deal of respect, honor, trust and love for. I immediately pressed the person who told me of this heinous action, to ascertain whether what was told to me was in fact true or not. The person has yet to provide proof of action.

Even if this person was/is telling the truth, I could tell from their posture in the message sent, that they only intend to ruin this person’s reputation, publicly…this is Backbitting, when you tell something about someone, which is truthful, but, only to make them look bad (typically publicly). Now, if the person is outright lying, or doesn’t know/care whether what they’re telling me is the truth or not, then, this is Slander, when you tell something about someone, which is false & you either know it’s false, can’t prove whether it’s true or false, or just don’t care whether it’s true or false, only to make a person look bad (typically publicly).

Let us not do this…And, honestly, it doesn’t even matter whether the persons victimized by either Backbitting or Slander are Muslims or not…Backbitting/Slander is wrong to do to anyone, at anytime, or any place…point-blank, period!!! Now, as many of you may know, I, myself, have been Slandered, publicly, literally, last-year, by another Muslim, of being Homosexual, which is a Major-Sin, Islamically & religiously a big-deal.

I know, 1st-hand, the ugliness of Slander, Backbitting as well, but, especially Slander…both Backbitting & Slander are evil-acts in the sight of Allah, and those who purposely do these acts are thus cursed, and will incur the wrath of Allah, in the Mundane, as well as in the Hereafter. So, please…I beg all of you…don’t Backbite/Slander people, and ask Allah, constantly, to protect you from Backbitting/Slander…Amen

Oppression is wretched!!!

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It is something that will taint your soul.
You’ll never reach Paradise, our goal.

Tyranny is something that which Allah has banned for Himself.
Yet, we have the audacity to strip the creation of their wealth.

This wealth is priceless: they are our lives, properties & honor.
Violating, taking these things from others is an action of terror.

As Human beings, we are haters-by-nature.
Envy is a poison, causing us to be immature.

Our hearts are corrupt, black & filthy.
Oppression makes all our deeds petty.

We must ask Allah to remove us all from the path of the dreaded & cursed Shaytan.
Or else, in the Hereafter, we’ll remain in the darkness and will not see another dawn.

Gareth Bryant/2012

Integrity is sacred!!!

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Author’s note:
The following post is the result of a Muslim, who knows me personally, who has recently deemed it okay to violate the sanctity of our religious-bond, by slandering me, by accusing me of being a Homosexual, something that’s considered a Major-Sin, according to classic Islamic-Texts. Let me first clear the air to all those who may read this: I am not a Homosexual, I’ve never have been. Now, if this is not good enough for some people out there, well, then, that’s your problem. I am a Muslim, and I am a Human being. Those who know me know who I am & how I live. So, for me to even have to jump out of the window, in order to clarify something that someone has viciously said about me, to purposely tarnish my Islamic social-standing, is really cruel. Anyway, I’ll get back to that in a while. Now, I intend to explore more of the Islamic spin on the subject of Slander.

Allah says in the Qur’an, “Oh, you who believe!!! Revere Allah, and speak a straight word (i.e. speak honestly/speak the truth).”.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.33, V.70) This means that as Muslims, we are divinely obligated, by Allah, the Lord of the Universe, to always speak honestly, never to speak crooked speech, to never lie. Then, Allah also says, “Oh, you who believe!!! If a sinner brings you news, verify. It may be that you allow harm to befall a people out of ignorance, and be regretful of what you’ve done.” (Noble Qur’an: Chpt.49, V.6) Now, unfortunately, most Muslims think that this particular verse only applies to Non-Muslims, but, it applies to all Human beings, regardless to whether one is a Muslim or not, because of the statement of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), “All of the Children of Adam are sinners; yet, the best of the Sinners are those who seek repentance.”.(Ahmad)

And, since all Human beings are sinful by nature, it becomes necessary to verify all that we say & claim. After all, it is the Prophet (Peace be upon him) himself, who has said, “If people were allowed to make baseless-claims, they would take the lives & wealth of others indiscriminately. However, the clarity is upon the claimant, otherwise they must take an oath.”.(An-Nawawi) This statement makes it very clear, that we are not allowed to just say things without them being truthful. We are obligated to have all that we claim to be honest, as well as verifiable. Muhammad (Peace be upon him) has also said, “The life, property & integrity of a Muslim is sacred.”.(An-Nawawi) This obviously means that no one has the right to take your life, property, or ruin your reputation, unless there is an Islamically justifiable reason to do so, and in almost all cases, you have to dig pretty damn deep, in order to find any Islamic justification to take someone’s life, property, or destroy their reputation; and, even the lives, properties & integrity of Non-Muslims are protected under Islamic-Law.

With Slander, specifically, it’s very honestly a form of oppression, and Allah has stated, based upon what Muhammad (Peace be upon him) has told us, “Oh, My Property!!! Verily, I have made oppression unlawful upon Myself, as well as between you. So, do not oppress one another!!!”.(An-Nawawi) Now, let’s think about this very carefully: Allah is the undisputed, Eternal-Creator of the entire Universe. By definition & default, He really has the right to do with us whatever He wants, without question or accountability. But, out of His eternal sense of justice, He has taken steps to not cross boundaries, which He has imposed upon Himself. Now, that is truly amazing!!! Alas, sadly, we cross the same exact boundaries that the Lord of the Universe has placed upon himself, which is the boundary which separates us from oppression; now, isn’t that hella ironic?!!!

Now, we can get straight into Slander:

The Islamic definition of Slander is the following: To say something, about someone, that is either known to be false, or that cannot be proven, exclusively to make a person look negative in public. This definition of Slander is directly derived from two chapters of the Qur’an, Surat-ul-Humazah (The Chapter of Slander) & Suratu-Yusuf (The Chapter of Joseph), which details the slander of Prophet Joseph (Peace be upon him), while he was in Egypt, in the household of an Ancient-Egyptian official, whose wife accused him of trying to rape her, and our mother `A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), when she was accused of adultery, by the leader of the Hypocrites in the city of Al-Madinah, during the lifetime of Muhammad (Peace be upon him). The Islamic definition of Hypocrites, by the way, are people who only pretend to be Muslims, for various alternative reasons; but, in reality, they do not truly believe that Islam is true guidance.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.63, V.1-8) During the lifetime of Joseph (Peace be upon him), his life was literally in danger, he was on the verge of being executed, and all because of a lie, and so was our mother, `A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her). Had Allah not allowed the truth of their affairs to be exposed, then, both of them would have perished unjustly, just because someone thought that it was amusing to slander a Prophet & slander the wife of a Prophet.

This is how dangerous Slander truly is: Not only do you ruin peoples’ lives, here in this Mundane, but also, your slander could very well be the reason why they never get married, never get a good job, acquire problems with family-members, neighbors, etc. You can also play a severe part in endangering the welfare and/or lives of those whom you so choose to slander-It’s a really big deal, whenever a person commits one’s self to say something about someone, which is not true, cannot be proven, and/or, in most cases, both. Also, in the hereafter, those who slander will not only be stripped of a specific amount of their own good actions, which are given to those whom they’ve slandered, they’ll also be compelled to take the negative actions of those whom they’ve slandered from their record. And, they’ll be questioned by Allah, concerning whatever you’ve slandered a person about, just as though they’ve actually done those specific actions themselves…WHAT A WAY TO FAIL!!!

Okay, now…it’s time for me to switch to my Nigga-Shit:

I know exactly why this particular person would even want to slander me. I mean, obviously, it’s not Islamically correct. But, I can actually see, in hindsight, why someone, particularly & especially a Muslim, would ever want to slander me, with the accusation of Homosexuality, no less.

This is how I can perceive the scenario-

This particular sister was throwin’ the pussy at me, and I either didn’t take notice to her, or completely, purposely, refused to entertain her advances, because one, I’m a Muslim, who’s actually tryin’ to do shit right, for a change. Then, two, she’s probably less than a 7, on a scale of 0-10, which means that she’s no way in my type-range, of women I’m sexually-attracted to, anyway. Now, with that being said, it’s obvious that the Devil convinced her, via his seductive whispering, to cause chaos & corruption, by slandering the known good-name of a fellow Muslim. And, to add insult-to-injury, it wasn’t just me, who’s character that she had attacked. This broad has also tarnished the good-name of a Muslims sister, as well.

Here’s how that went down-

I get a call, from a sister, whom I know. She tells me straight up, without hesitation that someone has been talkin’ mad shit about me. She basically revealed to me, that this sister who had slandered me, that she had asked whether I had holla’d at her. When the sister, who told me this story, said that I didn’t try to holla at her, this sister, who slandered me, then said, “Oh, yeah!!! He’s Gay.”. Now, when hearing this story, I realized something important, she wasn’t just attacking my religious/personal-integrity, she was also attacking the religious/personal-integrity of the sister whom she had asked about me. Basically, in the mind & heart of the one who’s the slanderer, it’s goin’ a lil’ somethin’ like this’, “Wow, if Gareth hasn’t holla’d at this girl, then, he must be Gay, because everybody knows that this girl is easy & loose.”. This is exactly what I was able to extrapolate from this story which was shared to me.

Now, here comes the pain-

Whoever you are, slandering me, or anyone else, I strongly advise you to fear the displeasure of Allah, make repentance, privately & publicly, and never set your feet upon that evil path again. And, you had better do that really soon, because I have my eyes & ears to the ground, looking for you, and you had better pray to Allah that you seek forgiveness & seek repentance, both publicly & privately, before I find out who you are; you’re officially on my shit-list, and for the record, you have to be a real douche-bag, in order to make it to that list. There’s a powerful proverb in Mongolian, which is the following, “Do not scorn a weak cub. He may become the brutal tiger.”. I usually try my very best to be the cool-guy. But, now, I see that I have to revert to bein’ a Nigga bout mines. And, honestly, that’s fine with me, if you wanna play dirty, hell…I invented playin’-dirty. Now, you’ve really fucked-up, because you’ve taken my good-nature for weakness, as though I’m a weak cub. You’ve made a big mistake. I’m Muslim, first. But, then, after that, I’m a Real-Nigga, and a Real-Nigga is gonna do whatever a Real-Nigga’s gotta do, ya dig?!!!

Whoever you are, slandering me, you, and whatever clique you roll with, no matter whether they’re Muslim or not, male, or female, if I catch you, we’re gonna go to war, and whoever is down with you, spreading rumors about me, or any other Muslim, or any other people period, while you claim to be a Muslim, I’m comin’ for ya ass & their asses too. And, I’m not afraid, because one, I’m a Muslim, and I know that when I’m correct, Allah will always protect me. Two, I’m a grown-ass man, who doesn’t have the will, the want, the care or the time, for any bullshit like this. Three, I’m just too old, to have to defend myself, against bullshit-gossip, that only does harm & not good.

Congratulations, whoever you are, because now, you’ve voluntarily enter the Lion’s-Den, and there’s only one way in & no way out. And, guess what?!!! I’m the hungry Lion, who hasn’t been fed in months, with the sharpest claws & teeth on the planet, and it’s lunchtime, and you’re on the menu. You’re like a Zebra, and I’m on the prowl, hungry for blood.

You betta watch ya ass, because I always catch my prey.
Just like Kevin Hart said, “You goin’ to learn, today!!!”

My thoughts on the word “Nigger”:

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Author’s note:
People, very often, have asked me why I’m so comfortable with the word “Nigger” being used around me. They just can’t understand, why an African-American would be so “not angry” when this particular word is used. I’ve honestly been thinking about this for a very long time, how to officially throw the word “Nigger” to the waste side, meaning take the power of meaning away from the word itself. Ironically, most people, especially African-Americans, really have no idea that the word Nigger, and the word Negro, for that matter, actually come from actual words in Latin. The word “Nigger” is derived from the Latin word “Niger” (just like the name of the country, in Africa…yes), which literally means the color “Black”. The word “Negro” is derived from the Latin word “Negro”, which means “To blaken/To make black”. However, the connotative meanings of both these words are exclusively, historically, meant to degrade & dehumanize anyone who is either Non-White, or even Non-European. And, occasionally, this term was even used against other Whites, like how it was used to dehumanize the Irish, during the 19th century, as droves of Irish immigrants came from Ireland, as a result of the historically infamous “Potato-Famine”. The following poem is my way of expressing how this word does not describe me.

A Nigger, I am not:

There’s just no way that I could ever be someone’s Nigger.
Allah is my Creator, it’s He who fashioned my noble figure.

He’s made me a Human being, higher, brighter, and better than the rest.
He has chosen me to be ahead of all creation; my status is the very best.

Never am I lower than an animal; my existence has great value & is substantial.
I’ve been guided to Islam, the noble path of many; I carry a very heavy mantle.

Allah doesn’t favor people because of their ethnicities, colors, nor races.
It’s only through believing in Him & doing good will we attain His graces.

This word Nigger has kept so many people back, from truly elevating to their rightful stations.
They have, unfortunately, bought into the lies that they are nothing & have given justifications.

Self-belittlement must come to an end; we are the ones whom Allah has created, with His own hands.
He has molded the bodies of our parents, Adam and Eve, from all different types of the Earth’s lands.

He has given us something that no one can take from us, no matter what they do.
It’s called the Soul; I’ve been given one, directly from my Creator & so have you.

So, the next time that you have the urge, to use this hateful word, think about what you’re really saying.
You yearn to take someone’s Humanity, with the utterance of just a single word, it is spiritual maiming.

Gareth Bryant/2012

My thoughts on Deception:

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The Double-Life:

The double-life is in each & every one of us.
Attempting to live two lives is totally arduous.

We think that we know people so well; but, what you see is just a facade.
Once you begin a double-life path, you must at all times be on your guard.

You’re willing to do anything & hurt anyone; you have no boundaries, your soul is sold.
You’re forced to live life as a Chameleon, constantly changing, to avoid being exposed.

It’s better to be honest, which is ever so admirable.
But, you’d rather be deceptive, which is despicable.

The longer you keep the life of lies going, living a double-life becomes more justifiable.
You begin to celebrate the dishonest nature you’ve adopted, this is just simply horrible.

Do you ever wonder how hard it may be for those who live double-lives to look in the mirror?
They can’t, because they’re not able to face the fact that they’re often causing immense terror.

The double-life keeps people in the dark about who you really are.
It’s amazing how we think we‘re close to people, but we’re so far.

It often takes a lot more energy leading two lives as opposed to just one.
The game of deception may be played by many, but it can never be won.

Gareth Bryant/2011

My thoughts on Truths & Lies:

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The Truth behind the Lie:

We all want to live comfortable lies.
Yeah, I said lies…just lies, not lives.
We never want to come to terms with truths.
We are too afraid to receive an honest bruise.

We must all decide for ourselves what’s real & what’s fake.
It’s no easy task; there’s no way to tell how long it will take.

We must look deep within our hearts, to discover the oasis screened by the mirage.
So many things are thrown at us to keep lies alive; Like an onslaught, it’s a barrage.
It is often said that every lie has a lil’ bit of truth.
Lies cover truth the way enamel covers a tooth.

In this world, controlled by illicit desire, vice is the king.
Everyone has a price & will sell themselves for anything.
We all lie, to keep up in public, donning falsified appearances.
We’re ashamed of who we really are & our true experiences.

It is often said that every lie has a lil’ bit of truth.
Lies cover truth the way enamel covers a tooth.

Since people always say the truth hurts, then a lie has to be a sedative.
Bullet wounds of honesty are covered by band-aids that are deceptive.
The wound of truth never heals; it just festers into an on-going infection of deception.
The iodine of integrity is the only cure for this rapid spreading of immense falsification.

It is often said that every lie has a lil’ bit of truth.
Lies cover truth the way enamel covers a tooth.

It’s ironic how sell ourselves short for a lie; yet, sacrificing for the truth is a price that’s way too high.
Falsehood is oh so very destructive; when will we ever learn that there’s no such thing as a white lie?

Gareth Bryant/2011

Apparently, I’m just “Too-Religious”:

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Author’s Note:
There’s gonna be some things written here that maybe a lil’ out of line to some, or too explicit. But, it’s just that this is based upon thoughts & feelings that I harbored in my mind & heart in a particular moment in time, and it must be expressed this way, in order to portray an honest & authentic narrative-Basically, they’re necessary-evils. Please, take no offence for what you’re about to read-I apologize in advance.

Enjoy!!!

In 2010, I was really excited & hyped about potentially getting married. But, then, I get this Facebook message from the Muslim girl whom I was speaking with about marriage that she doesn’t want to get married anymore. I’m not gonna lie, I was very disappointed. But, I said to myself, “Whatever Allah wills; it’s obvious that Allah doesn’t want me to marry this girl.”.

But, I really had no idea about what was about to come next, here it comes…..

She ended up telling me why she called things off, probably out of guilt, perhaps out of a sense of fairness towards me, to give me some closure, but who the hell cares?!!! Anyway, she tells me the reason why she called it off, and this really blew mines (i.e. pissed me the hell off)!!! This is what she tells me, “I called it off because you’re too religious for me.”. When I saw that as a Facebook message, I was just stunned, and said to myself, “What…the…fuck?!!!”. I was just so perplexed, as to how in the hell could someone ever consider Gareth Bryant “too-religious”.

To me, I could never…ever be religious enough. I mean it’s barely been a whole decade since I’ve stopped smoking weed & partying, and all of the rest of the Non-Islamic behavior that I used to indulge in (most of which I purposely will not reveal on this post). But, I’m just sayin’, how could this “too-religious” stuff possibly be? I look at myself as someone who’s not nearly at the Islamic level that any Muslim should be, especially considering how long I’ve been a Muslim already.

But, just like the title of this post, apparently, I’m just “Too-Religious”. So, needless to say, I was truly taken aback by that. I started to think to myself, “Of all the valid reasons to not marry me, why would anyone choose “too-religious?!!!”. Then, as only she could’ve, she added insult-to injury. She said that what turned her off to me was a conversation that her & I had about my beard. It’s very obvious, for those who know me, or have ever met me, or have seen me lately, that my beard is about 50% of my face right now…..but that’s beside the point. Basically, she had asked me whether I would ever consider cutting, shaving, or trimming my beard, of course me being me said hell no & gave all of the valid Islamic reasons why I would not. She mentioned to me that at that point in our convo, that she decided that she didn’t wanna marry me anymore.

After that, I just said to myself, “Now, ain’t this some bullshit?!!!”. Wait, it doesn’t end here. I was just thinking to myself the irony in all of this: Firstly, she had already met me like this, so it wasn’t just something brand-new to her. Secondly, she admitted it to me herself that it was my religiosity that led her to even want to approach me for marriage in the first place. Thirdly, even if I had just started to grow my beard, so what?!!! How in the hell do you just expect me to leave off something that’s already been established in the Islamic Prophetic-Tradition as being a religious obligation for men, for you?!!! That’s what I really didn’t get at all.

Yet, another irony, out of all of the Non-Muslim females that I’ve ever dealt with, they’ve never had an issue with me being a Muslim, a religious Muslim, or me having any facial hair. But, when a nigga tryin’ to do shit the right way, this one is shittin’ on me because I chose to observe a religious mandate in the Islamic Prophetic-Tradition. That was just astounding to me, really. How the hell is it that the Non-Muslim females that I used to deal with, never complained about my religiosity, yet a Muslim female calls off the prospect of marrying me because of my religiosity?!!! By, Allah, that is completely ass-backwards-If anything, it should be the other way around, where you have Non-Muslim females complaining about the beard, while Muslim females support it.

After this particular fiasco, I just said to myself, “Fuck marriage…..Imma go back to doin’ me!!!”. I was so resentful & bitter that it wasn’t even funny. That situation even began to change the way that I generally viewed Muslim women. I began to think to myself, “If this one thinks like this, then there would have to be many more Muslim women who felt and/or feel the same exact way towards myself and/or other Muslim men who choose to don the beard.” I mean, does having a beard make me look that damn repulsive, huh?!!! Like, someone let me know something!!!

This was something that has had a tremendous affect on me personally as a Muslim, and made me very edgy & self-conscious about my external appearance as a Muslim. I began thinking to myself, “Well, damn…..if this is the case, then no one will marry me.” It was a very depressing time for me. Then, through Allah’s help, I just snapped out of it, and then said to myself, “Fuck it…..I’m gonna grow my beard however long I damn-well please, and whoever doesn’t like it, fuck ’em!!!”. I decided that from then on, I would never, ever, allow anyone to make me feel that way ever again-I would never allow anyone to make me feel that because I want to be more Islamically religious that I’m doing something wrong, or against the norm, or against modernity.

The praise is for Allah, that I came back to reality, and decided that whatever opposition that I may face regarding a Muslim woman, or any woman period, not wanting to marry me as a result of my facial-hair, that I would always reserve the right to just leave them by the waste-side. If a Muslim woman loves Allah, loves His Messenger, loves Islam, then she’ll love that fact that I’ve chosen to commit myself to that which is obligatory upon me as a Muslim, and if she is not willing to do that, then it’s clear that she’s not a person that I would/should ever share my bed with, or have & raise my children with.

I close with this: To all of my Muslim brothers & sisters, who are given a hard time, just because you’re trying your very best to obey Allah & His Messenger, to the very best of your true abilities…..”Fuck the haters!!!”. Keep this as your personal motto, as I intend to keep it as my own, because anyone who doesn’t want you to become more dutiful to Allah & His Messenger is a fucking hater, period. And, if there’s anyone out there, who reads this & doesn’t like whatever I’ve written, then step to me & do something about it, I dare ya!!!

Don’t you ever let anyone make you feel that being a good Muslim isn’t trendy, or cool, or socially acceptable, or popular!!! If you’re a Muslim dude & someone mocks you for having a beard, then let it grow longer, and if  you’re a Muslim female & someone mocks you for wearing a Khimar, then wear the full Hijab, if they mock you for wearing the full Hijab, then wear the Niqab. The opposition that we all face, for trying to obey Allah should encourage us to obey Him more in spite of how much people are against it-Opposition, mustn’t/shouldn’t be used as an excuse to be religious cowards & not adhere to what we know as Muslims to be correct & obligatory. Be your own person, be a leader, not a follower, allow yourself to lead yourself towards the Paradise, and do not allow others to lead you to the Fire!!!

#I’m just sayin’!!!