Men can cry & here’s why

Allah states:

“Allah doesn’t burden any Soul, except it being tolerable.” & “Verily, with Hardship is Ease.”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.2, V.286; Chpt.94, V.5)

Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated that any/all Things which afflict any Muslim is used, via Allah, to remove Sins: even Psycho-Emotional Trauma.
(an-Nawawī)

Negative/Toxic-Encounter via Chaplaincy

I remember visiting one of my Hospital-Patients…they were very overjoyed to be visited. They began expressing/verbalizing ash-Shukr/Gratitude, for being alive still & surviving their Medical-Ordeal. They then began to weep&cry. But, sadly, however: the Spouse of the Patient…they began berating the Grief of the Patient saying: “Don’t cry…stop crying…why’re you crying?!!! You’re a Man…so stop crying!!!”. Albeit, it wasn’t my Place interfere between the Husband&Wife Spousal-Dialogue: I was taken aback & equally highly disturbed.

This-Woman audaciously/arrogantly telling This-Man to not freely express themselves, under the Pseudo-Auspicies that Self-Expression is “Feminine”, “Unmanly”, etc.: that I found very problematic. This is a Commomplace-Reality which Countless-Men all across the Earth have been facing historically. This Mythos/Pseudo-Narrative, that a Man self-expressing one’s True-Emotions/Feelings is “Weakness” is utterly ridiculous, highly insensitive, apathetic, etc. And, what’s worse is that so/too many Men have fully embraced this Sifah/Dimension of Pseudo-Masculinity which pontificates/claims that Men whom manifest Emotions are “Weaklings”, “Incels”, “Beta-Males”, etc.-It’s the Typical Fake-Woke Rhetorical-Bullshit which disables an Important-Compoment of as-Sihah/Wellness: the Capability, Ability, Agency, etc. to freely express one’s Emotions in a Healthy-Way (without Fear of Judgmentalism being imposed upon them).

Misogyny via “Red-Pillism” is not the Solution

Male-Pain which is astronomically ignored

I personally/professionally have spoken with & counseled Countless-Men whom’re made to think/feel they’re “Less of a Man”, for expressing their True-Emotions & Life-Challenges. It’s actually Women particularly, whom’re Experts of Emasculation: Certain-Women will immediately accuse Men of the proverbial “Actin like a Bitch” if/when any Man self-expresses their True-Emotions. It’s truly pathetic, the Levels of Apathy imposed upon Men & the Discouragement against Men being Psycho-Emotionally in tune with themselves.

The Scars of Men

The Mockery of Men being Emotionally-Equipped, to deal with their Life-Challenges, is literally amongst the Many-Reasons how/why Men die via Suicide-Attempts 4-Times more than Women (in spite of Women attempting Suicide 3-Times more than Men). Even the Concept of Men’s Mental-Health isn’t taken seriously (or as seriously as it must/should be taken). Men go through Fitn/Traumatic-Scenarios just like Women. How/why do our Societies still push the Mythos that Men don’t have Psycho-Emotional Huqūq/Rights?!!! This Constant/Consistent-Pushback against Male Mental-Health has yielded Negative/Toxic-Consequences for Centuries without any End.

The Anatomy of Quitting on one’s Self

Things which Men feel Powerless to disclose

The Men whom I’ve engaged/counseled, truly think/feel that they’ve no one to turn to & listen to them, empathize with them, support them, etc. They’re constantly/consistently unjustly expected to be “Work-Horses”. Even for Certain-Men to express what they’ve experienced: immediately they’re bombarded with the “Don’t act like a Bitch.”/”Stop acting like a Bitch.” Rhetoric via Women & ironically even Other-Men. There’s Men I’ve counseled who’ve been Gang-Raped via Jail/Prison, Sexually-Abused via Childhood/Adolescence, Sexually-Assaulted via Workplace, Religiously-Abused via Religio-Figures, Domestically-Abused via their Spouses/Significant-Others, Bullied throughout the Entirety of their Lives, etc. And, they’ve few if any Persons whom actually take their Pain seriously. This Sense of Deflection must cease at any/all Costs.

Returning to the Original-Narrative concerning the Hospital-Patient

The Patient, clearly observing their Body-Language, was observant that I understood the Assignment. Meaning, that regardless of what their Goofy-Ass Wife was talking about…I was present with them: willing to listen to their Narrative & unwilling to ignore/deflect their Expressed-Pain. They understood that I was there to empathize with & support them. The Patient constantly/consistently thanked me for being present with them, as they expressed/verbalized their Challenges&Problems which mattered to them. And I’m evergrateful to Allah, that I was present for That-Person.

Gareth Bryant

What Gareth Bryant means to Others

an-Nasīhah/Chaplaincy has truly been a Barakah/Blessing for my Danawī/Mundane-Existence. It’s a Profession which has empowered me to help my Fellow-Man, in Ways I’d never be capable to fathom prior to becoming a Nāsih/Chaplain. Allah has pattern my Life in such a Way: I literally have a Career which pays me to be Muslim. Furthermore, there’s 0-Doubt that I’m the Best my Profession has ever produced. My Proof is what I’ve directly been told via my 1st Chaplaincy-Training Supervisor. That-Person is `Abdus-Salām Mūsā. `Abd-us-Salām Mūsā had been doing Chaplaincy prior to me being a Muslim…prior to my very Birth. They’re the Human-Reason how/why I know anything about CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education). This Same-Person has told me, to my Face, Word4Word, that I’m the Best there is as per Professional-Chplaincy. And, `Abd-us-Salām Mūsā is the Best-Chaplain.

I’m going to detail 4 Specific-Things via my Lifetime, which turned-out to be most empowering to me personally. It truly refined my Sense of Maslahah/Purpose in the World, as well as what exactly I’m here for (aside from worshipping Allah exclusively).

My Most-Touching ICNACon-Stories

Chaplaincy-Stages

Saturday-Nite going into Sunday-Morning during ICNACon2023 in Baltimore, MD: something extraordinary occured to me. It happened in a Way I really didn’t expect, and equally had a Profound-Effect as per how meaningful I truly am to Other-People. The Following-Engagement truly exemplified the Magnitude of my Influence via my Work.

Sunday-Morning…the Last-Day of ICNACon2023: ironically I was literally on my Way to leave the Baltimore Convention Center & then This-Engagement took place.

These 2 Seperate-But-Equal Scenarios reminds me, that Allah has placed in me something completely unique to me. No one else is capable/able to reach Others the Same-Way I can. No one else can convey Concepts, Ideas, etc. like I can. And, by default that makes me Special. With there being Billions of Humans, literally spanning the Entirety of Human-History, it’s easy to feel like a Nobody. It takes 0-Effort for anyone to look at a Notable-Figure, Speaker, Celebrity, “Influencer”, etc. & think to themselves “How/why isn’t that my Life?!!!”. Yet, ironically, at the Same-Time: being in the Limelight & making a Positive-Difference are Mutually-Exclusive. And, I can honestly say: the Moments I’ve recalled via ICNACon, while I myself was simply operating as a Regular-Attendee: to Speaking-Engagements, no Events I facilitated, etc. but to have the Impact that I have…I wouldn’t trade-in those Experiences for any Speaking-Event, Panel-Discussion, Session-Event, etc.

Resisting the Fearful-Pressure of Leadership

I had a Worthwhile-Convo, with a Good Muslim-Friend of mine. We were discussing the Greater-Responsibility everyone in our Same-Circle has to step-up to the Plate & be True-Embassadors of Conveyors of Islāmic-Academia. We discussed the Difficulties/Challenges in having such a Maqām in lieu of the “Minbar-Star” Mythos, the “Muslim-Celebrity” Nostalgia, the “Celebrity-Shaykh” Culture, etc. that greatly & severely plagues the Muslim-World.

The Aforementioned are Highly-Contageous Religio-Social Viruses. And, these Religio-Social Diseases have had potentially Irreversable-Consequences. In spite of Those-Facts, however, the Helm of Islāmic-Academia/Scholarship has to be championed by someone. But, the Real-Question is how/why are there so many Wrong-People in Position, while too many Capable-Persons aren’t given Lanes, Platforms, etc. necessary to acquire Space/Place within the Arena of Islāmic-Academia.

I’ve literally had Certain-Persons: Speakers, Personalities, A’immah/Leaders, Shuyūkh/Teachers, Tullāb/Students, Du`āt/Promoters, etc. who’ve told me (Word4Word) that I’m the Person they can’t be. They’ve literally told me (Word4Word), that they agree with what I present, stand for, convey, etc. But, they’re afraid of being ostracized, alienated, etc. for publicly agreeing with what I state, post, write, etc. So, upon that…it’s easy to see how/why Certain-Persons absolutely don’t even want Position. Having that Kind/Type of Respondibility over Others is highly stressful, to say the least. And, that’s precisely how/why Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated: “Whomever is made a Qādhī (Judge/Ruler) between People, they’ve been slaughtered without even Weaponry.”.
(Abū-Dāwud, ibn-Mājah)

As them & I continued the Convo, they stated something positive yet shockingly unexpected: “Don’t disconnect from the Brothers who love you. You’ve always been our Teacher.”. That was difficult to receive, because the Person whom stated it: I personally regard them as a Person-Of-Knowledge themselves. So, for them to have that to say about me is honestly very humbling.

It was a Tadhkirah/Reminder that I actually mean more to People than I actually take/make the Time to recognize/accept. The Positive-Effects which I’ve had on those whom I detailed mean more to me than if I spoke at Events/Sessions All-3 Days of the ICNACon, or at any other Speaking-Venue. It reminded me that regardless of whether or not I’ve got a “Big-Name”, regardless of whether or not I’m deemed as “Marketable”, regardless of whether or not I’m viewed as “Controversial”, etc.: my Presence really matters to Others, because my Work really maters to Countless-People. And that Awareness is 💯%-Priceless.

Gareth Bryant