The Following is pertaining to what I’ve noticed via my own Lifetime, as well as what I’ve also personally experienced via my own Life-Journey. It’s referring to the Dangers of Men being Psycho-Emotionally Vulnerable. All throughout any/all Epocs&Eras of Human-History: no Society/Civilization has ever tolerated/accepted their Menfolk to disclose any such Psycho-Emotional Sensitivities. I’m specifically focusing upon a Man’s Connection to a Woman.
Historically, Men are only & exclusively expected to pursue Women (by Hook or Crook), bedazzle them with either our Wits, Strengths, Survival-Skills, Vocational-Skills, Intellectual-Prowess, Combative-Capabilities, Political-Power, Material-Possessions/Wealth, Sexual-Potentcy, etc. And, basically, Men (because we’re naturally Psycho-Emotionally Detactched from Sexuality for example), resulting from us not being as Psycho-Emotionally Sensitive, it breeds a Mythos/Pseudo-Narrative that it’s impossible to wound any Man psycho-emotionally. And, such a Posture has historically-proven to be untrue, dishonest, apathetic, unintelligent, etc. However, sadly, there’s still so/too many People (Men & Women alike) whom actually buy into such a Mythos/Pseudo-Narrative.
Certain-Men specifically: they’ve become the Victims/Casualties of the Cycle-Of-Toxicity…I’ll explain precisely what that is by the way:
1. Man oppresses Woman.
2. Woman becomes Bitter, Vengeful, etc.
3. Woman imposes Trauma they experenced from Prior-Men via their Lives onto Current-Men via their Lives.
4. Current-Men in turn become Bitter, Vengeful, etc. & impose their Trauma onto Women via their Lives.
5. The Cycle repeats itself.
Even having These-Type/Kind of Convos amongst Fellow-Men are socially-dangerous. There’s Certain-Men whom’ll be so apathetic towards the Psycho-Emotional Trauma of our Male-Counterparts: we’ll even label them…accusng them of being “Soft”, “Pussy”, “Homos”, etc. And, because we dwell in Societies where being any of either 3-Things is abhorent (as they should be quite honestly)-Obviously no Man really wants to be labeled as such. All-Men want to be respected amongst our Peers as Powerful, Strong, Unyielding, Unwaiverng, etc. And, while all of those are in fact Positive&Noble-Characteristics/Qualities…Mercy, Patience, Tolerance, Acceptance, Empathy, etc. are realistically just as positive&noble of Characteristics/Qualities for Men to possess/manifest. Sadly though: our Societies don’t see it That-Way.
Let’s keep the Focus on Intimate/Sexual-Relationships…there’s particularly Nuanced-Pressures placed upon Men, which’ll probably never be placed upon Women. I’ll be sharng the Following-Examples:
1.Sexual-Aggression
Women (especally via the Modern-World) via the Concepts/Movements known as “Women’s-Liberation”, the “Sexual-Revolution”, “Femnism”, THOT-Culture, Fake-Wokeness, etc.: Women have been granted a Societal Blank-Check to be as Sexually-Aggressive towards Men as they want, but exclusively on their Terms. And, Men whom choose not to comply to this: there’s literally Certain-Women & by extention Certan-Men whom’ll label Those-Men whom resist Femnine Sexual-Aggression as being “Homos”, “Less-Manly”, etc. There’s actually Certain-Men via our World whom actually think/feel that they’re “Less-Masculne”, if they’re not a Womanizer or a Wannabe Porn-Star. And, we all know (the “#MeToo Movement” undoubtedly proved this): if/when Men manifest Masculine Sexual-Aggression, it’s a Serious-Problem in a Biased-Way & the Term “Power-Dynamc” is always thrown-around as a Deflection, as if Sexual-Predatism is exclusively Gendercentric, Androcentric, etc. & it most definitely isn’t. (Ironically) it’s a Known-Fact, that on Average (in Western-World Nation-States), via Legality: Women overwhelmingly get penalized less for committng the Same-Types/Kinds of Sex-Crmes which Men commit.
2. Sexual-Weaponization
It’s a Known-Fact, that Women use Sex as a Manipulative-Tool to get whatever they want from Men. And, knowing that Men crave Sex from Men: Sexual-Manipulation works quite often. All-Men have had Those-Nites where they’re with a Woman & they just smply refuse to give it up. And, it actually doesn’t at all mean that the Man particularly did anythng wrongly. It’s exclusively what All-Women do Women always want Sex exclusively via their Terms only. And any Woman whom pontificates/clams that either they don’t fo this, didn’t do this, never did this, etc. I’ve 0-Problem to call them all Liars. Every Man has at least 1 Blueballs-Story caused by at least 1-Woman whom they were with sexually.
3. Manipulation4Gains
As we all know, as the Ole-Sayings goes: “There’s no such Thing as a Free-Lunch.”. Everything has a Price, because everyone has a Price. With that being said…there’s Dynamics between Men&Women which definitively revolve around Pussy&Money…this is literally a Dimension of Human-Nature. Now, for Women: clearly they’re naturally attracted to a Man’s-Affluence & if you want a Woman (especially depending upon the Woman being pursued) there’s a Certain-Amount of Capital which they expect you to spen on them. Now, there’s People who’ll label this Prostitutiong, Hoeng, etc. But, that’s a Separate-Issue. Rite now, we’re simply discussing what is. As per our Modern-World, Women doing this is actually becoming more tolerated/accepted. For example, Melissa Elliott (AKA the Music-Star Missy Elliot) made a Song called “Is It Worth It”…the Song itself literally is emboldenng Women to get Money (“By Hook or Crook” as the Ole-Saying goes): “Girls, girls, get the cash If it’s nine to five or shakin’ you ass Ain’t no shame ladies, do your thing
Just make sure you ahead of the game”. Now, compare that to Songs which Male-Mucisians make regarding pursung Women exclusively to get Pussy from them. It’s not at all received in the Same-Way. If/when Women manipulate Men for Monies, they literally get praised for it…just like the Film “Hustler” which portrayed Women druggng&robbing Men for Money. That-Movie grossed nearly $300Mllion Worldwide. We all know that no one would ever be able to get away with making a Film exclusively about Men drugging Women for Sex. If/whenever Men manipulate Women for Sex, they literally get criticized for it. Sexual-Dynamics are so deeply lnked between Men & Women that it’s precisely how/why via al-Islām there exists al-Mahr/Bridal-Gift: an Islāmically-Mandate Present, which a Man must give any Woman they pursue via Marriage, because you’ve got to Pay2Play. Also, there’s Revelatory-Texts detailing that if/when any Woman (Muslim or Non-Muslim) is “Married” to any Muslim-Man without any Walī/Guardian, then the “Marriage” doesn’t count…it’s az-Zinā/THOTery basically. But, in spite of this: the Mahr must still be given, because Sexual-Intercourse had already taken place.
(at-Tirmidhī, Abū-Dāwud, Ahmad)
4. Relationship-Breakups and/or Communication-Breaks
Typically, if/once People split-up (regardless of who’s at Blame/Fault and/or More-Wrong, Most-Wrong, etc.) All-Men know that it’s never in their Best-Interests to initiate Breakups. Men, almost always, get blamed/faulted for anything/everything which went wrongly via Sexual-Relationships. Societies will usually always side with Women aganst Men, when it comes to severing Sexual-Ties. If/whenever any Man breaks-up with any Woman: the Man is always nherently perceived/viewed as being the “Villain” & the Woman is always granted the “Woe-Is-Me” Card. Furthermore, there’s literally Certain-Women whom’ll strng Men along, make them think/feel they’re really into them…they’ll even let Certain Men hit it. But, then they’ll literally just ghost, vanish, etc. And, this is literally tolerated/accepted by People. But, if/when any Man does this they’re viewed as “Dogs”, “Pigs”, “Losers”, etc.
5. Domestic-Abuse
It’s a Known-Fact, that Female-Male Violence via Sexual-Relationships are the least reported, most underreported Kinds/Types of Domestic-Abuse between Sexual-Partners. The Reason how/why is because if/once any Man reports being Abused by any Woman they’re with (especially if/when it’s reported to Male-Personnel whom’re Law-Enforcement for example): it serves as a Direct-Attack/Offence against one’s Entire-Manhood. There’s literally Scenarios/Cases which I personally know of, where Men feel deathly ashamed of their Abuse that they’d never tell anyone…not even to get out of the Domestic-Abuse Situation. I personally know Men who’ve tolerated Domestic-Abuse via their Female Sex-Partners (Wives, Mistresses, Baby-Mommas, Girlfriends, etc.) exclusively because they dwelled under the Roofs of Those-Women, had 0-Place of their own, had no other Domestic-Options aside from the Homes of their Abusive-Partners.
Our Societies have culturally forbade Men to admit, if/when they’ve been Psycho-Emotionally Scarred, Heartbroken, etc. This is because it’s perceived/viewed as a Weakness. And, of course, Vulnerability has 0-Place in the Lives of Men, according to Societies not rooted in at-Tanzīl/Revelation. Unfortunately, Most-People are only concerned with Human-Injury which can be detected via the Human-Eye, Anatomical/Physiological-Diagnosis, X-Rays, etc. However, we utterly ignore/deflect the Human-Injuries which’re Internal/Unseen & can only be assessed if People are granted the Agency to freely express/verbalize whatever challenges them. But, Allah via Their Mercy&Justice, completely debunks this…as They command us: “Those whom believe pay attention: Upon you are yourselves.”. This-Verse, by default, establishes the Fact that we’re Islāmically-Entitled/Justified to take ownership over our Thoughts, Emotions/Feelings, Traumatic-Experiences, etc. Not only that, but as well, we’re equally Islāmically-Entitled/Justified to seek ar-Ruqyah/Healng, as per whatever pains us.
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.5, V.105)
It’s truly up to Principled-Persons, to break-down these Toxic-Cycles, these Destructive-Trends, these Pseudo-Norms, etc. in order to really help People work through whatever Life-Challenges affect them. There’s Countless-People whom Suffer-N-Silence, resulting directly because of every single Thng I’ve articulated via This-Article…it’s unjust & we’re all equally-responsible/accountable to contribute to putting a Stop to it.
Gareth Bryant 1444, A.H./2022, C.E.
Gareth Bryant 