Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated: “Always speak Truth, even if it’s bitter (even if it rubs People the Wrong-Way.”. (ibn-Hibbān, al-Bayhaqī)
A Popular-Idiom: “There’s no such Thing as a ‘Free-Lunch’.”.
There’s Lots of Truth/Honesty to That-Statement. As per Human-Nature: everyone wants something for nothing. This is particularly real when it comes to what Many/Most-Persons consider Religio-Work. I’ll give an Example of what I mean by this.
As a Chaplain, there’s this Religio-Stigma that Chaplains are so “Holy”, that they don’t need Material-Gains (like Monetary-Currencies) as per Self-Sustainability. I say: “Nah my Nigga…I’m just as Sinful as you: now pay me what you owe me.”. Muslims specifically (albeit not exclusively) get-down like this all too often. And, I’ve personally witnessed/endured it & had to confront/address it also.
Imāms/Religio-Leaders, Shaykhs/Religio-Teachers, `Ulamā’/Religio-Scholars, Muslim-Chaplains, etc.: anyone whom professionally operates via any of the Aforementioned-Occupations…we deal with This-Type/Kind of Goofy-Shit all the Time. Everyone actually thinks/feels that you “must” do what you do “Free-Of-Charge”, because “Islāmic-Knowledge is supposed to be for free”.
The following are Several-Things as per how/why I know my Worth, as a Chaplain operating via Religio-Work & whom deserves to be compensated relative to my Terms/Conditions:
Sadly, there’s Certain-Muslims whom deem Religio-Work as not Compensationworthy. Meaning, that via the Minds/Hearts of Certain-Persons they should be doing it “Fī Sabīlillah/Via the Path-Of-Allah”. Well…guess what?!!! Ensuring that I’ve Food&Drink in my Belly, Clothing on my Back, Shelter to dwell in, etc. are all Sifāt/Dimensions of “Fī Sabīlillah”…as Muhammad was once asked: “What’s the Best-Action?”…Muhammad replied: “The Labor of the Man via their own Hand.”. (al-Bazzār, al-Hākim)
Now…as Muslims you’d think that comprehending this is an Easy/Simplex-Endeavor. But, Oh…No!!! Too many of us literally think/feel we’re entitled/justified to attain Services for free. And, Certain-Muslims will audaciously/arrogantly pontificate and/or claim that Service-Prices are “Too High”…they’ll literally beg for “Discounts” which they don’t even deserve…they’ll attempt to bait you into “Religio-Guilt”, via manipulating the “You’re supposed to do it for the Pleasure-Of-Allah” Kalām/Rhetoric…etc. And, also, additionally: they try to hit yoh with the “Jazākallah/May Allah reward you.” Song-And-Dance Routine/Tactic. This automatically means dat U ain’t gettin paid.
By default/definition…this is a Serious-Issue/Problem & equally it’s a Negative/Toxic-Mentality. It’s both degrading & exploitive. People actually want to use Others, without granting them any Just/Fair-Compensation & That-Shit is Super-Wack.
In conclusion: Just stop trying to “Get-Over” on Others & compensate them accordingly…as per their Professional-Worth. And, to the Professionals out there…know your Professional-Worth & never tolerate/accept anyone to cheapen your Professional-Worth.
This-Article is almost exclusively based upon the Following-Works:
a. al-Bahr-ur-Rā’iq/The Calm-Ocean (a Trilateral-Compilation of the Works of: Abī-Hāmid al-Ghazālī, ibn-il-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, ibn-Rajab al-Hanbalī), Ahmad Farīd
b. “Hierarchy-Of-Needs” (a Psycho-Analytical Theory), Abraham Maslow
As a Chaplain (Counselor/Therapist): I’ve personally encountered Various-Persons either expressing/verbalizing that they no longer see the Point of Life and/or express/verbalize their Contemplations/Desires, Motives/Intents, etc. to commit Suicide. My Niyyah/Motive is to thoroughly decipher the Difference between being Unlively & being Suicidal. Now, is there Correlation between Unliveliness & Suicide…Absolutely. However, does this mean that both are exclusively a Causation of one another…Absolutely not.
al-Hazan/Unliveliness
This results from any Human-Experience which triggers and/or reminds us of Negative-Times, Challenging-Happenings via our Existence within ad-Dunyā/the Mundane. If/when any Person loses what’s known as the “Will to live”-Naturally, Most-People will in fact think/feel that someone just wants to hang it up & end their Lives. It’s not always like this. There’s truly an Abundance of Complexities/Complications via someone’s Life-Experiences which cause Unliveliness. More often than not: a Person may simply not want their Life as is and/or they may want to live the Lives of Others whom they know, know of. It’s very probable that they don’t view who they are individually as valuable, meaningful, purposeful, important, etc. They very often may actually fantasize and/or become addicted to whom they see/view via T.V., Film, Entertainment, Porn, Online, Social-Media, etc. Then, they may wish to live the Lives they’re stimulated by as if intoxicated with wanting to be anyone/everyone externally of themselves. This-Concept “Living my Best-Life” is literally one of the Culprits of Personality-Addiction/Worship: it’s actually a Grave-Facade. Whenever Most-People conceptualize That-Mythos, it’s exclusively pertaining to Mundane-Gains & Material-Pleasures…as Allah states: “And the Mundane-Life is only the Matā`/Enjoyment of al-Ghurūr/Illusion.”. None of Those-Things will ever yield as-Sa`ādah/Happiness…as-Sa`ādah can never be externally acquired, rather, it must always be introspectively/interally fostered&cultivated: as-Sa`ādah is a Personal-Responsibility. Ironically, one of the Major-Reasons how/why so/too man Human-Relationships are negative, toxic, etc. and/or fail is because as Humans we audaciously/arrogantly expect Other-People to make us “happy”. But, it’s humanly impossible to make anyone happy, except ourselves…like I always tell People: No one can make us happy, but anyone can make us miserable. And, when they continuously see Person-After-Person disappointing them, worse yet making them miserable (because they refuse to find as-Sa`ādah intrapersonally) they delve further into a Spiritual/Psycho-Emotional Abyss. This is precisely how/why Allah states: “Those whom believe pay attention: Upon you are yourselves.” & “Verily, Allah doesn’t change what’s within any People unless/until they change what’s within themselves.”. (Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.5, V.105; Chpt.13, V.11; Chpt.57, V.20)
at-Tahlukah/Suicide
As per what I’ve aforementioned, via the Pic concerning “wanting to die”: in All-Truthfulness/Honesty, it’s a Misnomer. I’ll explain what I actually mean. Even if/when anyone becomes and/or is Suicidal: they don’t actually want to die…they really only want their Suffering, Life-Challenges, etc. to die. However, Suicidal-Persons (for Various-Reasons) allow ash-Shaytān/Satan to convince them that the Only-Way to end their Suffering/Life-Challenges are to end themselves. Speaking of Suicide, as per my Professional-Experience: there exists a Strong-Correlation between Suicide & Sexual-Abuse. At least 98% of Persons I’ve counseled regarding Suicide were sexually-abused (at least once via their Life-Times). Being Suicidal is literally a Person’s Last-Call for Help…it’s actually a Spiritual/Psycho-Emotional S.O.S.-Signal. This is the Reason how/why the Average-Suicidal authors what’s known as the “Suicide-Note”. They do this to catch they Attention of at least 1-Person who actually cares enough to reach-out to them, to stop/prevent them from committing Suicide. For example: the Famous-Series “13 Reasons Why”, which is literally based on a True-Story/Actual-Events by the way: I’ve literally seen almost all the 13-Reasons manifested via Other-People I’ve actually counseled. I mean, via the Nasr/Help-Of-Allah: I’ve literally been able to physically prevent People from threating/attempting Suicide rite in front of me via Real-Time & via Real-Life. (Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.2, V.195; Chpt.7, V.11-25; Chpt.114; Muslim)
This is the Logic of Sad/Depressed-Persons. This is neither normal nor healthy.
So, what’s to be done…what can be done…how can anyone help People dealing with either Unliveliness, Suicide, or both, etc.?!!!
Excellent-Questions…Answers:
ar-Ruqyah (Healing/Treatment)
The Following is a List of Discussion-Topics which I use via my Life-Coaching. It’s geared towards facilitating Self-Awareness, in light of honing one’s own Maturation/Advancement of Intrapersonal & Interpersonal Intelligence/Communication. The Responses to these aren’t “One&Dones”. The Responses are meant to evolve with any whom chooses to use this. The Person’s-Responses may be completely different an Hour, Day, Week, Month, Year, Decade, Score, etc. from rite now as we speak. As I always tell People: People are just like the Weather & Weather changes everyday. It’s exclusively discretionary. So, if a Person wants to answer these everday, evert Week, Month, Year, etc. then that’s completely up to them.
1. (Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.51, V.56)
Explain what your Existence means to you personally.
2. (Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.13, V.11)
Detail what Potential/Purpose means to you.
Detail your Personal-Goals in Life.
Detail your Personal-Roadblocks which hinder your Personal-Goals from becoming Reality.
3. (“Oh, Allah: just as you’ve perfected my Physique, perfect my Character also.” [Fortress Of The Muslim])
Tell how you view yourself in the Present.
Tell how you want to be viewed in the Future.
Relate how much you genuinely like yourself (on a Scale from 0-10).
Relate how much you genuinely dislike yourself (on a Scale from 0-10).
4. (Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.2, V.286 & Chpt.5, V.28)
Compare/Contrast: Strengths vs. Weaknesses…”SWOT-Analysis”:
Gareth Bryant 