Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated: “Verily, amongst the Most-Evil of the People, to Allah, on the Day-Of-Standing is a Man who was intimate with their Wife and spread their Sexual-Secrets thereafter (i.e. Slut-Shames them).”.
(Muslim)
In spite of the Fact that they’re not married to each other: the Rules still apply. What they did was Sucka-Shit.
“And never let your hatred, against any People, prevent you from behaving justly.”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.5, V.8)
“Men&Women are Shields for/of one another…”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.2, V.187)
As per This-Subject, this is very crucial. Detailing Marital-Issues/Problems (particularly/especially via al-Jinsiyyat-ul-Bashriyyah/Human-Sexuality) is very much a Taboo-Topic & full of Countless-Complexities/Complications. However, if/when it comes to airing-out ones own Dirty-Laundry via the Public-Sphere, to perhaps either acquire: Empathy, Sympathy, Attention, etc. is Hella-Problematic & Religio-Spiritually Dangerous.
Doing this, by default, without the Correct-Niyyah/Motive, and/or without Religio-Professional Advisement (Counseling, Therapy, etc.), can easily fall under Several Kabā’ir (Infamnias/Major-Sins):
a. Unjustly disclosing the Affairs of the Bed.
b. Backbitting: detailing Negative-Things about one’s Spouse which is true/honest, yet is exclusively done to make them look Bad.
c. Slander: accusing one’s Spouse of doing Negativity which is either untrue/dishonest or unproven, exclusively to make them look Bad.
(al-Kabā’ir/The Major-Sins, adh-Dhahabī)
“Men are Responsible for Women…”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.4, V.34)
This-Citation of at-Tanzīl details that (via al-Islām) Men are Mafrūdh/Islāmically-Required to provide Several-Things for Men, specific to This-Āyah/Verse: this is referring to the Wives-Of-Men. The Things which’re required to be provided are the following:
1. Establishing Religio-Spiritual Irshād/Direction.
2. Establishing Holistic-Wilāyah/Protection.
3. Establishing Psycho-Emotional Rifq (Compassion/Comfort).
4. Establishing as-Suhbah/Companionship.
5. Establishing Food, Clothing, Shelter.
6. Establishing Pipe-Game.*
(*Clearly This-Post is centered around Number-6…just as a Dhikr/Reminder)
The Word/Term for “Marriage”: “an-Nikāh”…
…it etymologically (literally) means “Sexual-Intercourse/Fuckin”. So, by default: obviously (for Obvious-Reasons) Sex is the Asl/Rudement-Foundation for any Marital-Relationship, which makes Sense, because it’s a Known-Fact (via Human-Behavior) that al-Jinsiyyah/Sexuality is the Most-Intimate Sifah/Manifestation of Human-Communication. Keep in Mind, also, that Sex is largely Non-Verbal Communication & at least 80% of Human-Communication is Non-Verbal. This is so Islāmically-Factual, that anyone whom is Married & their not being Sexually-Appeased: a. If they’re a Man, they can divorce their Wife because of this. b. If they’re a Woman, they can be granted a Khul`/Divorce-Request.
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.4, V.19; al-Bukhari; Muslim; an-Nasā’ī; Mālik; Ahmad; Lisān-ul-`Arab: Lexicon of the Arabic-Language, ibn-Manzhūr)
But, if you’re fearful that you won’t be just: then just wed 1-Wife…”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.4, V.3)
Let’s keep it 💯: Muslim-Men having Multiple-Wives has become a Fad, Trend, etc. fueled by Machismo/Male-Egotism, Fake-Wokeness via the Mythos/Pseudo-Narrative of “Red-Pillism”, “High-Value”, etc. So, upon that: Muslim-Men sim to literally 1-Up each other, via the Polygyny-Racket…as a Sifah/Manifestation of Religio Dick-Measuring. It’s basically a Way for Many-Muslims to fulfill a Fantasy of being a “Player”, under the False-Pretense of Polygyny. They’re literally trying to do via al-Islām what many of them were really incapable of doing if they were Non-Muslims, which is acquiring Multiple-Pussies. I don’t care whom agrees/disagrees, likes/dislikes, etc. what I’ve stated…how I’ve ststed it…etc. All of those reading This-Article know damn well that I’m being 💯%-Truthful/Honest here…
…”Truth is Truth, regardless of whom/where it comes from.”.(Islāmic-Principle) As Muhammad (Peace be upon them) stated:
“Apathy/Arrogance is denying Truth & mocking People.”
And, as Mu`ādh ibn-Jabal (May Allah be pleased with them) once stated:
“Always accept Truth, even if it comes from a Kāfir (Disbeliever/Non-Muslim) or a Fāsiq/Sinful-Muslim.”
(an-Nawawī, Abū-Dāwud)
“Either remain with them or depart from them via Respect/Dignity.”
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.2, V.229&231; Chpt.17, V.23)
Now, as per the Aforementioned-Post: the Issue of Abandonment is very much Islāmically-Valid. Sadly, though: Many-Persons refuse to recognize/accept the Reality that they’re violating the Huqūq/Rights of their Spouses…Men & Women are equally blameworthy/faultworthy of this for the Record. Both Husband & Wife are equally: responsible, accountable, liable, etc. as per making their Marital-Relationship work or to part Ways via at-Talāq/Divorce…like the Ole-Saying: “It takes 2-Hands to clap.”.
http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com/2014/06/25/antipolygyny/
http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com/2022/05/22/evilofabandonment/
http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com/2022/06/08/stopthegenderwar/
“Have you seen those whom take their Desires as their God?!!! Are you then their Enabler?!!!
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.25, V.43)
There’s Several Red-Flags which I personally have detected, via the Aforementioned-Post, regarding the Person complaining about their Spouse getting themselves off without them. It seems, as per the Correspondance, that all the Blame/Fault, Responsibility, Accountability, etc. is exclusively being imposed via a 1-Sided Fashion & that’s azh-Zhulm/Oppression by default. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not at all co-signing what they’ve accused their Spouse of doing. Yet, at the Same-Time, as I always tell People: You either judge everyone or no one…
…you either give everyone or no one a Pass. This-Man absolutely must self-evaluate their own Situation & recognize/accept the Reality that they’ve been exposed for probably one, some, most, or all of the following:
1. Lacking Religio-Spiritual Irshād.
2. Lacking Holistic-Wilāyah.
3. Lacking Psycho-Emotional Rifq.
4. Lacking as-Suhbah.
5. Lacking Food, Clothing, Shelter.
6. Lacking Pipe-Game.
“Pick your Poison.” as the Ole-Saying goes & check/correct one’s Self. Any/All-Men being challenged/tested via this Same-Dilemma must/should introspect whether or not this applies to them personally. For Obvious-Reasons, these aren’t at all Comfortable-Convos for any Man to have with themselves via Intrapersonal-Communication, nor with Others via Interpersonal-Communication. But, this must be unearthed&remedied, for one’s own Individual-Sihah/Wellness. As hurtful & shameful as it may seem/feel: All-Men must have the Basālah/Courage to face this, if it so applies to them. Courage isn’t the Absence-Of-Fear, it’s the Willingness&Ability to confront Fear. Moreover, Lots of Tawādhi`/Humility is required to even aknowledge that this applies to one’s Self & to take Realistic/Pragmatic-Steps towards dealing with their own Respective Marital-Issues, and to accept Help/Support from Others if need be.
(Noble-Qur’ān: Chpt.13, V.11; an-Nawawī)
http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com/2022/06/23/malescars/
As a Chaplain (Counselor/Therapist), there’s Several-Pieces of Advice for any/all Muslim-Males experiencing such Scenarios as these:
1. Try one’s best to refer one’s Affairs directly to Allah firstly & ask Allah to guide one’s Decision-Making.
2. Don’t be hasty to tell, post, etc. one’s Marital-Issues/Problems via the Public-Sphere (regardless of whether it’s disclosed via the Public-Sphere or via Anonymity). And, that’s because there very well may be People, via an-Nazhr/al-`Ayn (Evil-Eye), whom’re joyful that Certain-Persons have Marital-Issues/Problems.
3. Actually have These-Types/Kinds of Convos with one’s Spouses…”Communication is Key.” as the Ole-Saying goes.
4. Seek Religio-Professional Relationship-Counseling/Therapy if necessary.
5. Don’t maliciously out one’s Spouse via al-`Udwān/Animosity against one’s Marital-Partner, as this can easily be classified as al-Ghībah/Gossip (via al-Buhtān/al-Humazah).
6. Be grateful, to Allah, that Masturbation/Sex-Toying is all that they’ve done/are doing…realistically they could’ve been committing Adultery. And, as I always tell People: Women only cheat on Men they don’t respect…
…any Woman who’s with any Man they respect: they’ll leave them as opposed to cheating on them. By the way: this literally only applies to marriage. Realistically, if you’re unmarried then it really isn’t “Cheating”, because, unless you’re married to someone they don’t owe you anything.
(at-Tabarānī, al-Bayhaqī, ibn-Hajar al-`Asqalānī)
http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com/2020/11/19/sexcrimes/
In Conclusion…I hope that Persons like those whom detailed their Relationship-Strife find Some-Type/Kind of Ruqyah/Healing. It’s very evident, that they’re a Miserable-Person & may Allah replace their Hardship with Ease, as well as any/all Others challenged the Same-Way.
Gareth Bryant 1444, A.H./2022, C.E.
Gareth Bryant 