Tag Archives: Suicide Awareness

at-Tajnīn (Jinn-Influence/Possession) vs. Mental-Illness By Gareth Bryant

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Author’s-Note:

The Following-Article is based upon Personal-Research: my Role as a Chaplain/Counselor lead me to author this Research, as per my Professional-Expertise via Chaplaincy. I’ve submitted my Research, for review, to the Dept. of Psychiatry, Michigan State University. Michigan State University not only approved my Research, but also invited me to attend the annual Global Muslim Mental Health Conference, hosted by Clare College/Cambridge University, United Kingdom, where I in turn was also invited to orate/defend my Research.

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Gareth Bryant

1439, A.H./2018, C.E.

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The Day I Became A Coward:

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Author’s-Note:
“And, don’t allow your hatred against any People prevent you from being Just.”
(Noble-Qur’an: Chpt.5, V.8)

This is a true-story, of when I had a very gruesomely hostile argument with my Mother, over Religion. I was still fairly a New-Muslim at the time, and she was vehemently against me being a Muslim in the 1st-place. So, because of her blatant Islamophobia, I began to develop a very toxic hatred in my heart against her. I was very enthusiastic concerning my reversion to Islam: it was (and still is) such a liberating experience. However, unfortunately, I had also made the grave mistake of using my newly-found Monotheistic-Faith as a justification to rebel against my Mother, which I did fairly often. I honestly don’t even remember what we had argued about in detail, nor do I remember how this argument started and/or which one of us started it. I have no recollection of how old I was at the time, nor the time, day, month, season, year; I can’t recall what I had worn that day, or what I ate: none of these details come to my mind. But, I do remember getting angry with my Mother, and I remember what I stated to her, which I’m too ashamed to say publicly. I can still see the pain in her face, as the tears began to roll down her face, flowing from her eyes, like river-streams from a snow-capped Mountain in the Springtime.

I can still envision the look of regret that she had on my face for giving birth to me, because of my vile tantrum of disrespect against her. I can still hear her heart breaking into unrecognizable pieces, because of the harshness of my words spewing from my reckless tongue. This is is the day my cowardice was truly exposed. I had displayed such unforgivable rudeness towards the Woman who birthed me, that had Allah decided to strike me dead, as a punishment, it would’ve been what I deserved. I didn’t even know how to apologize: it was like Allah had decided that my prior insults were so despicable, that I wasn’t even worthy of speaking again. It felt like my tongue was paralyzed & being prevented via Allah’s Divine-Discretion, from even being able to say sorry for what I had said. Now, there I was, a Young-Punk, thinking that I’m a “Tough-Guy”, making my Mother cry, using the same voice that would cry-out to her when I wanted/needed her for love & attention, to cause her pain. I felt so low that day. After our argument, self-witnessing the anguish which I had inflicted upon her started to make me reflect as to whether or not I was even worthy of being a Muslim.

That’s how deeply this event had affected me. And, even to the point when there were times after this that I had wished that I had died, because of the shame I bore: the pain of dealing with the consequences of what I had done felt like I was being destroyed from within. Ironically, many years afterwards, my Mother sent me a text-message, telling me how proud of me she is of the Man that I’ve become. This text made feel feel that my entire existence, prior to that point was useless. I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t remember this argument her & I had. But, I’ve never forgotten it, nor will I allow myself to forget it. That episode in my life is one thing, amongst so many others, which I’ll continually use to keep me humble, as well as humbled. I had actually been thinking a lot about the Verse of the Qur’an that I mentioned earlier, and the more I had thought about it, the more things that I had done, People that I had offended out of hatred began to surface from my subconscious. And, then, this incident between my Mother & I resurfaced within me, and it took me to a place of reflection that I didn’t want to be taken, but it was a necessary place to be.

Particularly, and especially as Muslims: it doesn’t matter who opposes your Islam, it gives us no right to treat them unjustly. All Human beings have the right to be treated fairly. And, those who have the greatest rights over us are our Parents. And, the Parent who has the most rights over us are our Mothers.(an-Nawawi) Our jobs as Children are to care for our Parents, in the same ways which they’ve cared for us when we were young & helpless.(Noble-Qur’an: Chpt.17, V.24) And, for a long time, I had done the exact opposite of caring for my Mother, spending more time causing her grief as opposed to joy. When I began to comes to terms about the wrongs against my own Mother, I started to reflect upon how my Mother would always tell my siblings & I growing-up, that our Father always wanted us & told us to listen to our Mother. My Father was my hero growing-up. So, when he died when I was very young, I was only left with memories of him & from what others including my Mother had told me about him.

I started to think about how could I possibly face my Father, knowing what I had done against my own Mother. Then, an even greater fear encompassed me: how am I going to face Allah: the Creator/Lord of the Universe & answer to Him on the Day of Standing for the wrongs that I’ve done against my own Mother? It’s popularly said that “The Wise-Man is he who learns from the Errors of Others.”. So, be wise & learn from my Errors: don’t make your Mothers cry…don’t be Cowards.

Gareth Bryant/2015

Muslims Giving Back’s annual participation at the annual AFSP: Out Of the Darkness Overnight promoting Suicide-Awareness & Suicide-Prevention

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Donate to the efforts of Muslims Giving Back below…Support Project: #Walk4life:

http://www.theovernight.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donordrive.participant&participantID=13648

Muslims Giving Back @the annual Out of the Darkness Overnight Suicide Walk…Part II:

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Allah says, in the Qur’an, “As a result of this, We have ordained upon the Children of Israel the following: ‘Whomever kills someone, whom has neither killed anyone, nor has cause Corruption, within the Earth, it’s just as though they’ve killed all of Humanity. Yet, whomever saves them, it’s just as though they’ve saved all of Humanity.’.”.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.5, V.32)

Every year, within the United States, alone, 1Million people attempt Suicide…out of that Million 40,000 people actually end up dying from their Suicide attempts…

…this needs to stop, and with the help of Muslims Giving Back, it will, by the permission of Allah. But, we @Muslims Giving Back need the help & support of each and every one of you, to aid us in projects like this, to help the other, which is the individual & collect responsibility of each & every single Muslim.

Muslims Giving Back @the annual Out of the Darkness Overnight Suicide Walk…Part I:

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Allah says, in the Qur’an, “As a result of this, We have ordained upon the Children of Israel the following: ‘Whomever kills someone, whom has neither killed anyone, nor has cause Corruption, within the Earth, it’s just as though they’ve killed all of Humanity. Yet, whomever saves them, it’s just as though they’ve saved all of Humanity.’.”.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.5, V.32)

Every year, within the United States, alone, 1Million people attempt Suicide…out of that Million 40,000 people actually end up dying from their Suicide attempts…

…this needs to stop, and with the help of Muslims Giving Back, it will, by the permission of Allah. But, we @Muslims Giving Back need the help & support of each and every one of you, to aid us in projects like this, to help the other, which is the individual & collect responsibility of each & every single Muslim.

Muslims Giving Back’s annual project to spread Suicide Awareness & Prevention: #Walk4Life

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Muslims Giving Back

Salam/Hello!!!

Allah says, in the Qur’an, “As a result of this, We have ordained upon the Children of Israel the following: ‘Whomever kills someone, whom has neither killed anyone, nor has cause Corruption, within the Earth, it’s just as though they’ve killed all of Humanity. Yet, whomever saves them, it’s just as though they’ve saved all of Humanity.’.”.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.5, V.32)

The following are just some, of the many, startling facts about Suicide:

1. Suicide is attempted, every year, 1Million people within the United States, alone.

2. Nearly 40,000 Suicide attempts within the United States, alone, are actualized.

3. Women are 3-times more likely to attempt Suicide than Men.

As a Muslim, I take great interest in seeing Suicide come to an end. And, even if I never live to see it end, I owe it to Allah, the Creator/Lord of the Universe, to at least do my part, to help prevent at least one less person attempt Suicide. Every year, since 2011, I have made it my business to participate, as a walker, in the annual “Out Of The Darkness Overnight”, a Suicide Walk, sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which helps to spread awareness, as well as raise monies, to help others from entering the road of no return, which is Suicide.

Muslims Giving Back, would like to inform you that our organization will be embarking upon our annual Suicide Awareness & Prevention project, known as #Walk4Life. 

This project aims to do the following:

1. Give a real face to the reality of Suicide.

2. To help raise Suicide-Awareness.

3. To establish an Islamic/Muslim presence, to allow Non-Muslims to know that the Muslim-Community cares about the issue of Suicide, and regards it religiously, as a momentous & tragic act.

4. To inform Muslims of the reality of Suicide within the actual Muslim-Community.

Now, on to what’s needed, for the success of this project:

1. Sponsorship/Money: We, at Muslims Giving Back, want to raise no less than $5,000, which is intended to cover registration, donations to the AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention), promotional paraphernalia (such as Wrist-Bands: MGB: #Walk4Life, T-Shirts: Muslims Giving Back: #Walk4Life, etc.)

2. Manpower: We need People to make announcements about this project, at Masajid, Schools, businesses, community-centers, etc.

3. Participants: We need People who are willing to actually come join us for this walk, scheduled for June 28th & 29th, 2014, in Philadelphia, Pa

Muslims Giving Back is going to be participating in the Out of the Darkness Overnight Suicide Walk, promoting Suicide Awareness & Prevention, in Philadelphia, Pa, on the 28th & 29th of June, 2014. It would be great if you all could join us in this walk. But, if you’re not able to, at least donate online to our profile donation page, or tell others in the Philadelphia area about this event. Suicide is very serious, especially among our youth. Please support us in our efforts to raise awareness about suicide.

The Out of the Darkness Overnight Suicide Walk is 16-18 mile trek, from sunset to sunrise. All proceeds benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, funding research, advocacy, survivor support, education, and awareness programs – both to prevent suicide and to assist those affected by suicide.

To register and/or donate for this walk, go to:

http://www.theovernight.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=10754

Thanks in advance,

Gareth Bryant
National-Spokesperson, Muslims Giving Back

 

In Memorandum of Suicide-Victims: To those whom are gone

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Author’s note:

Allah states, within His Noble-Book, “And, do not kill someone, whom Allah has sanctified, except with justification.”.(Noble Qur’an: Chpt.6, V.151)

When it is mentioned, within this verse, “whom Allah has sanctified”, it also applies to one’s self…Each and every one of us has a life, given to us, by Allah, the Creator/Lord of the Universe, which is sanctified, sacred, full of relevance & purpose. Unfortunately, sadly, we allow ourselves to be negatively-influenced, to such a staggering degree, that we deem it necessary to terminate ourselves, to remove ourselves, via Suicide, from this Mundane-Life. My teacher/mentor, Jeffrey Kearse (AKA Imam Siraj Wahhaj), made a very poignant point, about the reality of Suicide: I heard him once say that, “Suicide is a ‘permanent-solution’, to a ‘temporary-problem’.”. I, myself, no longer want people to choose Suicide as “permanent-solutions” to their “temporary-problems”; rather, on the contrary, I, myself, as well as others who are of liked-mines, deem to establish putting a definitive end to Suicide, any way that we Humanly can. This also includes being sensitive to the sensitivities of others, to not make people feel low, to not berate them, that they no longer feel Human, or loved, or self-worthy of anything, or view Life as something that’s worth living any longer.

The following poem is a summation of all that has been mentioned previously:

We wish You were still with Us!!!

We love and miss you.

We wish that we knew.

We were too oblivious to the fact that you were in pain & needed our help.

Us losing you is like suffering from a beating, scared by a permanent welt.

Why didn’t we ask, “How are you doing?”, we should’ve looked for the signs.

We should’ve known that your laughs & smiles were hiding your many sighs.

You should’ve been told, by us, “I love you”, so much more often.

Now, we can’t say anything, but “good bye”, to you, from a coffin.

Alas, it’s just monumental regret, that you’re gone, today.

We could’ve & should’ve helped you to find another way.

You meant so much to so many.

Our hearts are sad and heavy.

I wish that I had never teased you.

I regret anytime I made you blue.

Should’ve never laughed, when no one wanted to go with you, to the Prom.

Mocking the fact that you never sat with the cool-kids at school was wrong.

You were full of life and love & it is so sad you’re not here.

I wish that you were still among us, that you were still near.

Gareth Bryant/2013

The Results of a Broken-Home: When Someone feels they’re all-alone

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Neghena Hamidi pic

Author’s note:

Neghena Hamidi, a young, new, literary-artist, has graced my blogpage, with a very endearing poem, about the ill-effects of a pathological homelife-experience. The piece itself is very captivating, describing, in detail, how someone may, and sadly, often, ends up, as a result of negativity in their lives, from home.

I walked past both of you upon being beckoned
My parents said to me “Don’t think this life is worthy for a split second”
Careless I was,
Walking to my room
Disrespecting my parents?
I just walked into my own doom
I did not know would happen that night
A dream that would leave be shattered
Unprepared to really fight
Lying in my bed
Forgetting about the prayers my dad just led
I closed my eyes and drifted away
Constrained
In a habitat
Where was I
What just begun
I heard cries all over just being sung
It was dark
I couldn’t see
Is what I’m imagining make believe?
I moved my left hand
What is this box i am in?
is it the box that He chose?
Knock and I banged. No one heard me
I can’t really see
Someone please answer
Hear my plea
Because I feel as though my heart is beginning to bleed
The ceiling began to slide
I caught a glimpse of my mama,
Crying on my side
White dress on my body
On this box i lied
I saw four people hovering on my home tugging on my scarf
“Wake up. You did not die, Her life was about to start”
Who was that?
Wait I’m dead?
That was my mother..
The one I never listened to when we uttered words to one another
“My baby sister, shes gone”
I think that was my brother
Never really bothered knowing you because I always snuck out undercover
“Guys…I’m not dead. Hear me. I’m dying inside”
Ha! Cracked a paradox
While I’m unwillingly trapped in this box
Don’t bury me six feet down the ground where the worms will have my fun with their feast
On the eyes that never bothered to see life’s true peak
The ears that never listened to her own just merely speak
The mouth that was blabbering when her enemies were so weak
That forehead that never gracefully leveled down to the atmosphere of my feet
The hands that was useless when I heard someone beg
And the feet that never ran to mosque when I heard Quran being read
Not now. I need to change
I know its a bit too late
Like a thread this life was cut short
I feel so estranged
Wait…
Water on my face?
Those were the tears of my father
Thought you would be tough
Please don’t leave your daughter
Someone pull me up
This must be a dream
Caused by bad habits?
And a hint of really bad fatigue?
I assure you I was sober
Just pull me up
My life just has been shattered by a bulldozer
My face was just covered
There goes my family
And the new roof of my sanctuary
My box is lifted despite my plea
Down I go with regrets and lack of the deen.

Neghena Hamidi/2013

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Salam/Hello!!!

I’m going to be participating in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Overnight Anti-Suicide Walk again, in the San Fransisco Bay Area, on the 9th. & 10th. of June, 2012. It would be great if you all could join me in this walk. But, if you’re not able to, at least donate online to my profile donation page, or tell others about this event. Suicide is a very serious issue that is a growing problem in the U.S., especially among our youth. Please, support me, in my efforts, to promote Suicide-Awareness & Suicide-Prevention. I’m trying to use my participation in this walk as a platform, to promote activism within my respective Muslim-Community, because unfortunately, Muslims are not given a lot of press, when we do partake in noble causes such as this one. Rather, we’re almost always portrayed negatively in the media. So, basically, it’s my intention to be a representative of the Muslim-Community at this walk, but I need help to raise as much money as I possibly can between now & June.

Thanks in advance,

Gareth Bryant

Donate to the AFSP: Out of the Darkness Anti-Suicide Walk 2012:

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Salam/Hello!!!

I’m going to be participating in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Overnight Anti-Suicide Walk again, in the San Fransisco Bay Area, on the 9th. & 10th. of June, 2012. It would be great if you all could join me in this walk. But, if you’re not able to, at least donate online to my profile donation page, or tell others about this event. Suicide is a very serious issue that is a growing problem in the U.S., especially among our youth. Please, support me, in my efforts, to promote Suicide-Awareness & Suicide-Prevention. I’m trying to use my participation in this walk as a platform, to promote activism within my respective Muslim-Community, because unfortunately, Muslims are not given a lot of press, when we do partake in noble causes such as this one. Rather, we’re almost always portrayed negatively in the media. So, basically, it’s my intention to be a representative of the Muslim-Community at this walk, but I need help to raise as much money as I possibly can between now & June.

Thanks in advance,

Gareth Bryant