Tag Archives: Resentment

The Known & Unknown:

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What is known is that I:

am a shame to my Lord’s Providence…
…my life stained by sinful indifference.

act out of impulse, without care nor consequence…
…I treat advice that’s given by others as nonsense.

leach off of the kindness of others…
…am often malicious to my brothers.

contradict my self-proclaimed ideals…
…care nothing for what the other feels.

What is Unknown is that I:

have no idea how many People I’ve hurt…
…don’t know if I’ve achieved my true worth.

don’t know whether I will ever good enough…
…don’t know why Humans make Life so rough.

don’t know where, when, or how I’ll die…
…don’t know whether I’ll be History’s lies.

don’t know whether I’ll be among the Eagles, as they fly…
…or whether I will be crowned the lowly Lord of the Flies.

Gareth Bryant/2015

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My Transition from Boy to Man:

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I was once a Boy:

I used to be a boy.
My life was a toy.

I would take things lightly, and shun responsibility, but that was clearly in the past.
Pursuing the fleeting and worthless pleasures, you think you want, really never last.

I used to think of myself as the “ladies’-man”; I arrogantly thought that I had the world in my hand.
We are crucially warned in the Qur’an, to not be like those people who tread pridefully in the land.

But, Allah taught me that once you depart from Him, He’ll make you lose yourself thereafter.
It took a lot of pain & loss to come to realize that when things get tough, people will scatter.

Everyone who cracks a smile isn’t a friend; if a woman lets you have her, it doesn’t mean she loves you.
There’s much more to people than just a nice body, a pretty face; eventually they show their colors true.

He allowed heart-breaks & head-aches to invade my personal-space, to teach me that I was all-wrong.
However, learning the reality of the deception of others has not weaken me; rather, it’s made me strong.

This boy whom people once knew, this quiet, simple, naive young boy has long died.
My foolish mistakes and your trials & tricks have killed & buried him, his body cold.

I’m now a Man:

Today, I am now a Man.
I have a brand-new plan.

No longer will I submit to the whims of others, be deceived by the infatuation of false-lovers.
Things look really good wrapped-up; but, the ugliness is revealed once you are undercovers.

People love to tag you along & play the game, to do to you what others have done to them.
They treat you like you’re an enemy to them, it’s like “survival of the fittest”, “sink or swim”.

I will not allow myself to ever love someone who neither cares nor loves me back.
I must return to Allah through obeying Him and put myself back on the right track.

I’ve matured, and realized that not everyone is nice.
If you let them, they’ll use you, as their own device.

Some may call me cynical; but, I think of life literal; reality often hits you hard.
People have ill-will and you have to be on your toes; you always stand guard.

This is a part of “growing-pains”; but, I hope to be done with injury.
With Allah as my Lord & my wits intact, I’m sure to achieve victory.

Gareth Bryant/2012

My thoughts on my own failures:

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Maybe it’s me:

With each passing of years, my eyes begin to shed tears.
I cry, because of some of my most tragic & painful fears.

I’m in fear of dying without wife, nor child.
The thought of it just makes me very tense.

I’d much rather have an easier trial, that’s quite mild.
Alas, I’m being tested with this & it makes no sense.

I reminisce, as a young dude, runnin’ wild in the street, baggin’ shorites, with no sense of bein’ discrete.
When I was doin’ my thing, I was a legend, my style unmatched, and my swagger just couldn’t be beat.

But, since I’m tryin’ to do things that way, I’m stuck in a rut; defeat has been common-place today.
It’s like I have no finesses, when it comes to seeking out a spouse, as though I am complete astray.

Fail, after fail, it is so depressing and annoying; how long will this dark cloud over my head stay?
This has become a game that I just can’t win, because the rules are different for this type of play.

Back in my prime, when I was a wild-child, shorties just fell in my lap.
Now, it seems that I’m just washed-up, corny, a lame, a plain old sap.

So, now, I’ve thought about it & maybe it’s me who’s the problem.
It’s probable that I am the reason for my very own crash and burns.

It is very possible that this could very well be some chastisement from Allah.
I may just have to deal with this, as long as it takes; but my heart still churns.

It hurts so much, thinkin’ that you’re so close to someone then, Allah just rips them from ya life.
It just sucks that I’ve been down this road, so many times, yet still missing this most crucial exit.

It seems like there’s no end in sight, I am just destined to go through this strife.
I’ve become just like a dog chasin’ it’s tail, in a never-ending emotional matrix.

Gareth Bryant/2012

My thoughts on Ingratitude:

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Ingratitude:

Incompetent, incapable, unruly, worthless, despicable is I.

Nonetheless, I pretend that I am the source of my supply.

Grave will be my affair with my Lord, whenever He is not praised.

Revenge will be His; when He is not given credit, He’s not pleased.

Arrogance is a poison of the Heart, it corrupts the Soul from the start.

Tremendous is the nerve of a person who is prideful, it’s just not smart.

Impetuous is my ego, it’s out of control; I take myself way too seriously.

Terrible is my state of mind; I don’t even deserve my Lord’s generosity.

Undesirable is this destructive spiritual disease & shameful is my gall.

Deceived by the Devil that I own anything, it is Allah who owns it all.

Every time we behave this way, the further we will go astray.

Gareth Bryant/2011

My thoughts on dealing with opposition:

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This has taken me a very long time to learn, but here it is:

“If a lynch-mob wants to hang you, you don’t give them a noose; if someone wants to shoot you, you don’t give them a loaded gun; if an archer wants to hunt you down, you don’t give him arrows.”
Gareth Bryant

This basically means that you as a person must never give anyone ammunition to take shots at you. Let’s be honest people, everyone is not gonna like everything about us, or everything that we do…just reality. However, it doesn’t mean that you add insult-to-injury, by making it easy for people to dislike you, despise you, or to attack you.

#I’m just sayin’!!!