Tag Archives: Regret

Y.O.Y.O.: Y.ou’re O.nly Y.oung O.nce

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Your youth is such a priceless treasure…
…don’t waste it on a worthless pleasure…

…If you so chose, to just let your desires run loose…
…you don’t get 2nd-chances with youth, you’ll lose…

When you dwell within the days of innocence’s bliss…
…don’t be deceived by the Devil, as he blows a kiss…

His lips are a dank, dark, toxin, which spews a harsh odor, from his twisted, doubled, tongue…
…he means to deceive us, when we 1st approach maturity: it’s easiest to misguide the young…

…Youth is the state of Life that our Lord allots…
…when we value & use it wisely, we can do lots…

…However, when we follow the crowd, chasing possession, power, fame…
…we’ll end up looking back, years later, regretting what was done in vain…

…From 10 to 20 & from 20 to 30: livin’ wild, rachet, carefree, dirty…
…from 30 to 40 & from then on you’re washed-up: no longer pretty…

You chose to do you; yet, deceived & oppressed yourself…
…only on your deathbed, do you realize Life’s true wealth.

Gareth Bryant/2014

 

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The Reasons why I can’t divorce Remorse:

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There’s this love-hate relationship that I have with Guilt…

…One that forces me to behave as I should do, to the hilt.

 

Breaking-up is the very hardest when you try to distance you from yourself, to break away from your very own conscience.

There’s always this sense of detachment, you feel that you are held back by reservation, to pursue and take advantage.

 

This consistent “make-up-to-break-up”, with regretting sin’s past, always compels me to remember the purpose of my mundane course.

I’m always enthralled, to concede to keeping you near, although your constant reminders of my wrong-doing make me feel worse.

 

When I commit misdeeds, you’re right there, all the time, telling me, “I told you so!!!”.

I am oftentimes found shooing you away, saying, “Leave me!!!”, as well as, “Just go!!!”.

 

My life has often lead me down the road of resentment, me even wishing to forget my own oppression.

The mere thoughts of knowing that I’ve wronged, yet did not care, drives me towards dark depression.

 

It’s like my conscience taunts me, as if exclusively instructed, by Allah, to keep me grounded, to avoid me from attaining Arrogance.

And, it reminds me that if I refuse to improve, I may very well die prideful, without any more opportunities for a 2nd-chance.

Gareth Bryant/2013

I am the Monster under the Bed!!!

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When the Sun drops down & the Night has risen…

…My claws spring-out, my heart cold, eyes crimson.

I always wait for the Twilight…

…it is the best time to strike.

Underneath the beds, of all those whom fear me…

…They know that I’m real, they understand, clearly.

When I attack, it’s as though I’m Lightning…

They can’t even scream, I’m so frightening.

I lurk within the hallways & stairs…

…So afraid of me, they walk in pairs.

As I chase, causing fear, terror, as well as despair…

…I roam, from home to home, I’m a true Nightmare.

As I yell & howl, as if the Moon were full and at its brightest…

…I cause descent people anxiety, me being their trial & test.

And, then, I awake, just before the Dawn breaks…

…I rush to the bathroom, wash my confused face.

Everyday, this occurs, I’m actually my own Monster…

…Every night, this constant image, I’m my own horror.

This is my punishment, for me causing good-people pain…

…For not caring for others, no consequence, only disdain.

It is my fate, to be a living nightmare, that people hate.

It’s what I get for living crooked, as opposed to straight.

Gareth Bryant/2013

The Necessity to reflect upon the Past, live in the Present & plan for the Future:

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The Past is not to be regretted, but merely remembered.

To remind us of actions gone awry & ambitions deferred.

It is merely something to gives us something to think about.

There’s no need or complain about it, or to stress and pout.

What’s done has been done & you can’t go back to have it reversed.

No need to complain about a performance that was not rehearsed.

We live in the Present: the “Here and Now”.

We must make good upon what we endow.

Our current durations are investments, to benefit us, at later times & places.

We must work, avoiding the same errors as before, stop falling on our faces.

The fruits of our labor may not all be witnessed by our own eyes.

However, still, we must overcome all obstacles, to attain our prize.

Our Future is completely unknown to us; regardless, we welcome it.

Never afraid of what is to come, courage is the primary precedent.

We are confident that we have done all that we should.

But, we would’ve definitely changed things, if we could.

That’s the way things are to go I guess; this is how it is to be.

I only hope to remain blessed & have Allah pleased with me.

Gareth Bryant/2013

The Benefits of Joy & Pain:

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Joy:

Joy is exactly like a brand-new toy.

It makes you feel like a happy boy.

It reminds you that everything should be pleasant, sweet.

It’s pure bliss, which completely knocks you off your feet.

Joy allows you to bask in a most divine-gift, called providence.

It causes us to become, immediately, immersed in confidence.

The gift of joy comes directly from Allah showing us that everything isn’t bad.

We don’t always have to experience negativity in life, and be miserable or sad.

We learn from Joy that Life doesn’t have to be a constant headache.

We don’t have to live our lives thinking that we’ll never get a brake.

It’s your key to enter the gates of serenity.

So, leave anxiety behind, and live happily.

Gareth Bryant/2013

Pain:

Sharp, and unyielding…this is such a most agonizing feeling.

It leaves your body as well as your soul yelling…screaming.

It’s something which makes the spirit sour & the stomach churn.

Even though injured, you are forced to appear strong and stern.

Pain is never planned & always unexpected.

It often leaves you confused & misdirected.

You have to brace your body and soul for suffering from lacerations.

Spiritual as well as also physical hurt often cause perilous conditions.

Recovery is, commonly, just as painful as the wounds, necessary to heal.

It can take a lot of time to recuperate; memories & scars are very real.

The thing about Pain is that it reminds us, that every taste of Life ain’t sweet.

It teaches us that we’re gonna fall; but, also how we can get back on our feet.

Gareth Bryant/2013

My Love-Letter to the one who refuses to love me back:

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I’m not in despair, and I no longer care.
You really didn’t want me at all anyway.

I now see who you really are, it’s clear.
You just wanted to pass the time of day.

You knew in your heart that you didn’t want me; but, you kept it going.
You already had it in your mind that I would be like the others, coying.

There was this mythos within me that you were looking to explore.
But, then you got attached, then, you realized that I wanted more.

Then, you used the excuse of your family to say that it wouldn’t work.
You only compared me to every other man, whom to you was a jerk.

You prejudged me even before you knew me.
There’s so much to me that you refuse to see.

To you, I was just some regular Nigger from the hood, with no culture.
I was just some Revert-Muslim, without any past & without any future.

You were too hasty to wait for me to get things established.
You let haters you know make your decisions, it’s so tragic.

But, it’s okay, you’ve decided to run away.
After you had nearly sent my heart astray.

I wanted to do things right, and you just wanted a good-time.
Then, apparently, you just get this epiphany, that is sublime.

You want to run away from me, all because you’re afraid of how I would be perceived.
You’ve allowed others, who only look at the surface, decide who you want to be with.

The whole thought of you actually letting these people control you cannot be conceived.
But, then again, this is how you’ve wanted it; you yourself hadn’t ventured for any depth.

But, where is your own stance, and resolve; you need to stop letting people control your life.
If you would actually call it quits, because of only perceptions, then I need you not as a wife.

Now, I will never claim that I did nothing wrong.
And, I wouldn’t dare sing the blame-game song.

I know that I’ve sinned and brought sorrow to my own soul.
Now, my heart has dark-spots, the hues of mountain coal.

But, it’s a 50/50 split whenever things in relationships go wrong.
You knew in your heart you did not want this to go on very long.

You said that you would wait; yet, you are not displaying any inkling of patience.
You’re ready to just pack-up & go when things don’t go your way, at an instance.

You said that you would rather not speak to me or see me instead.
Now, if this is at all true, then why are you still my Facebook friend?

If you’re really serious about no contact with me, why not just cut me off?
Just release me, as the Lungs release dust & particles through a cough?

Gareth Bryant/2012

My thoughts on my own failures:

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Maybe it’s me:

With each passing of years, my eyes begin to shed tears.
I cry, because of some of my most tragic & painful fears.

I’m in fear of dying without wife, nor child.
The thought of it just makes me very tense.

I’d much rather have an easier trial, that’s quite mild.
Alas, I’m being tested with this & it makes no sense.

I reminisce, as a young dude, runnin’ wild in the street, baggin’ shorites, with no sense of bein’ discrete.
When I was doin’ my thing, I was a legend, my style unmatched, and my swagger just couldn’t be beat.

But, since I’m tryin’ to do things that way, I’m stuck in a rut; defeat has been common-place today.
It’s like I have no finesses, when it comes to seeking out a spouse, as though I am complete astray.

Fail, after fail, it is so depressing and annoying; how long will this dark cloud over my head stay?
This has become a game that I just can’t win, because the rules are different for this type of play.

Back in my prime, when I was a wild-child, shorties just fell in my lap.
Now, it seems that I’m just washed-up, corny, a lame, a plain old sap.

So, now, I’ve thought about it & maybe it’s me who’s the problem.
It’s probable that I am the reason for my very own crash and burns.

It is very possible that this could very well be some chastisement from Allah.
I may just have to deal with this, as long as it takes; but my heart still churns.

It hurts so much, thinkin’ that you’re so close to someone then, Allah just rips them from ya life.
It just sucks that I’ve been down this road, so many times, yet still missing this most crucial exit.

It seems like there’s no end in sight, I am just destined to go through this strife.
I’ve become just like a dog chasin’ it’s tail, in a never-ending emotional matrix.

Gareth Bryant/2012

The Ballad of a broken Man!!!

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I would give anything, to get back the time I’ve spent on people who never even mattered.
It feels as though I vainly wasted all of my energy on fields, which could never be pastured.

People whom I had thought would be good for me; yet they did nothing, but prove me the fool.
I’ve deceived my own self, believing they truly wanted me for me, and that everything was cool.

The fact is that my time has been wasted.
It’s the truth & I just can’t bear to face it.

As time has gone by, I have voluntarily placed my heart in the darkness.
It’s like it’s been in a freezer, covered with a thick, icy gloss of sadness.

The fact is that my time has been wasted.
It’s the truth & I just can’t bear to face it.

My experiences have converted my heart, from a piece of tender flesh to a slab of cold stone.
I’m in constant fear that it may very well be my sad destiny to live out the rest of my life alone.

The fact is that my time has been wasted.
It’s the truth & I just can’t bear to face it.

It’s really too perilous for me, to forget all of my former emotional pain.
I’m just too afraid to open my heart to someone, for anyone to explore.

I often wonder whether or not I can trust again.
I hope to attain a sense of true love once more.

Gareth Bryant/2012