Tag Archives: Islamic Marriage

My Commentary on Interfaith-Marriage:

Standard

I will be showing you a video posted on YouTube, by the Muslim Public Affairs Council, hosted by Maher Hathout, who died in January of 2015, dubbed the Father of American-Muslim Identity”. This video is a part of a series of videos, concerning topics which are not discussed enough or at all among Muslims, Interfaith-Marriage being one of these recurring hotbed-issues. However, within the video itself, there’s a lot of problematic stances which the personality answering the questions takes, which I’ll discuss after you’ve viewed the video:

This video is incredibly inaccurate & misleading: Allah clearly states, “And do not allow the Men of Shirk to marry you, unless they believe.”(Noble-Qur’an: Chpt.2, V.221) The Men of Shirk are those who commit Shirk: disregard of the existence/oneness of Allah & all Non-Muslim commit Shirk in one way or another, either via Atheism/Anti-Theism (disregarding the existence of Allah/any Divine-Creator generally), as well as any other Non-Muslims who have theological-beliefs contrary to what we’re taught as Muslims via al-Qur’an/the Qur’an & as-Sunnah/the Prophetic-Tradition. In other words, a Muslim-Woman is prohibited from marrying any Non-Muslim Man. And this is because of the following reasons: when a Woman is sexually-attached to a Man, his influence over her is tremendous. Obviously, Allah knowing His Creation better than we know ourselves, places a prohibition upon Muslim-Women being married to Non-Muslim Men, because Non-Muslim Men will influence Muslim-Women to leave Islam & it happens all of the time. And, the major reason that Muslim-Men are allowed to marry (Jewish & Christian) Non-Muslim Women is because of the same reason: as a result of a Man, by Nature being able to influence a Woman via sexual-attachment, he’s better able to encourage her to accept Islam. Also look at it statistically: how often do you hear about Men leaving Islam, because they’re with a Non-Muslim Woman…hardly ever…conversely, how often do you hear about Women leaving Islam, because they’re with a Non-Muslim Man…almost always.

Maher Hathout has purposely…purposefully misinformed People, both Muslims & Non-Muslims alike. Now, I don’t know who gave him the privilege to be any type of authority to speak about Islam, but he has truly not done a good job in dispelling misconceptions and/or clarifying conceptions of Islam. He had mere done what so many, too Muslims past & present have always done: take the go-along to get-along route…instead of being honest about about what Islam allows vs. disallows, in the objective of being Interfaith-Accepted, he had allowed himself to misinform masses of People of various faiths to take his word seriously, and had sadly deceived them…this video being only one of many proofs of this.

Gareth Bryant/2015

Gareth Bryant featured on The Mardiyah Show Episode 4 Part 2

Standard

Author’s Note:
This is the official interview of Gareth Bryant, on one of his most controversial articles to date, “Why Muslim Women Are Against Polygyny and Why Muslim Men Can’t Really Blame Them”:

http://www.garethbryant.wordpress.com/2014/06/25/antipolygyny/

The “Child-Marriage” Issue: I’d rather call it Youth-Marriage:

Standard

Youth Marriages pic

Author’s Note:
Has anyone ever noticed that when it comes to the issue of “Child-Marriage”, only the Western-World uses the term “Child”? There’s a very important reason for this: they want people to get accustom to people always assuming that Men are marrying girls, under the age of Puberty, which is utterly perverse, in nature. This is exactly what happens, when one has the power over Language: when one controls Language, they can control how people interpret Law, Life, etc. However, in the Western-World, the issue of “Child-Marriage” has only recently become an issue, relative to the pathological rise & growth of Feminism, which has always (both historically & contemporarily) proves to be not only very biased/1-sided but also extremely hypocritical.(To learn more about Feminsim: https://garethbryant.wordpress.com/2011/10/19/bothmisogynyfeminismareevilandhereswhy)

1. Firstly, Islamically, the definition of a “Child” is one whom has not yet reached Balaghah/Puberty.(Abu-Dawud, Lisan-ul-`Arab: Lexicon of the Arabic-Language)

2. Secondly, when it comes to marriages, if there is a situation, where there is an arranged marriage-agreement between families, tribes (which is respectively very different than Forced-Marriages, “Kidnap-Marriages”, etc.), and the like, takes place before both the potential bridegroom & bride, or even if just the bridegroom or bride whom is under the age of Balaghah, then their is a period of time in which there is a respective waiting-period, which is supervised by the families, until the marrying parties are both old enough to either say yes or no and/or consummate their respective marriage.(Malik)

3. The most-famous example is that of Muhammad (Peace be upon him), in which after Allah had ordained that he marry `A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), the daughter of Abi-Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him): she remained with her own respective family, until it was confirmed that she had reached Balaghah. And, the reason why this is so important is because, Islamically, it is Mahrum to have any sexual-contact with any Human being, whom has not reached Balaghah.(al-Bukhari)

4. This is very crucial to know, as Muslims, because this is one of the most-slanderous insults which ignorant Muslims, and Islamophobes, generally attribute to Muhammad : Child-Molestation via marrying `Ai’shah at age 9, even though, ironically, not even his own religious-enemies, during his own lifetime, the Pagan-Arabs, ever accused him of something so disgusting as Child-Molestation, and they had accused him of some pretty ugly things.

5. It’s really ironic that most people who advocate that young-people don’t marry young argue about the health-risks of getting married young…well:

a. What about the health-risks of casual-sex, enjoyed by so many, whom are unmarried all across the Globe?

b. What about the health-risks of Homosexual-Sex (particularly/especially Male-on-Male/Anal-Sex)?

6. Although it is true that early-marriage does disrupt education, but, there are a lot more things which disrupt education as well, like:

a. Economic-Exploitation, which the Western-World enjoys, because, we just love fancy clothes & techno-savvy phones, made by workers whom would probably never get the chance to own anything which they make, for Western-World/Global markets, even if they saved every penny of their earnings for an entire year.

b. Wars in these same places where Youth-Marriages take place, as a result of the insatiable pathological craving for influence, power, control over the planet’s resources, all in the covert name/facade of Freedom/Democracy.

c. Educational-Exploitation, as a direct result of ruined infrastructure of these same nations, which the Western-World has invaded and turned upside-down via military, economic, political, and social destruction.

So, in conclusion, this issue is an open-shut-case: the issue of Youth-Marriage is just not what the Western-World vilifies it to be.

Gareth Bryant/2013

Let’s Love for the Right-Reason:

Standard

“Boy meets Girl”…they become each other’s world.
She buys him clothes, he buys her diamonds, pearls.

But, is this “True-Love”, or is it just a “good-time”?
Is it the “Long-Hall”, or a one-night “wine & dine”?

When we use this word…L.O.V.E….what, exactly, does it really mean?
Are we emotionally invested in someone, or is it just a realized-fantasy?

Just how earnestly connected are we, to those we’re attached to, and living with, side-by-side?
When the hair grays, the looks fade, will we stay or pursue someone new, leaving them behind?

Are we skin-deep, and, or, superficial?
The answer, to this question, is critical.

Because, if we do not have the right-answer, that means our priorities are all-wrong.
It means that we’ve been lying to ourselves and others, with an ingenuine love-song.

The sound, of that covertly-deceptive melody, has captured our hearts.
But, the after-tone leaves a very painful screech, on our, delicate, ears.

For the longest times, we’ve just assumed that we always, in relationships, used our wits, smarts.
However, as the sharp, tart, heartbreak sets in, we now see the actual fruition of our worst fears.

We all need comfort, therefore look for love, often, in all the wrong-places.
We all allow our emotions to be “wild and free”, instead of grow, in stages.

We always forget, in fact, to love the One who matters most.
He who has given us hearts, to begin with, the Lord of Hosts.

It is Allah, the Lord of All, whom requires us to love Him, first; but, we don’t.
He wants only that we remain grateful, to Him, for all He does; but, we won’t.

We’d rather have our fragile morsels of flesh, between our chests, be stepped upon & shattered.
Yet, if we only took the time to love Allah, more, first, we’d find ourselves emotionally protected.

Gareth Bryant/2013

Apparently, I’m just “Too-Religious”:

Standard

Author’s Note:
There’s gonna be some things written here that maybe a lil’ out of line to some, or too explicit. But, it’s just that this is based upon thoughts & feelings that I harbored in my mind & heart in a particular moment in time, and it must be expressed this way, in order to portray an honest & authentic narrative-Basically, they’re necessary-evils. Please, take no offence for what you’re about to read-I apologize in advance.

Enjoy!!!

In 2010, I was really excited & hyped about potentially getting married. But, then, I get this Facebook message from the Muslim girl whom I was speaking with about marriage that she doesn’t want to get married anymore. I’m not gonna lie, I was very disappointed. But, I said to myself, “Whatever Allah wills; it’s obvious that Allah doesn’t want me to marry this girl.”.

But, I really had no idea about what was about to come next, here it comes…..

She ended up telling me why she called things off, probably out of guilt, perhaps out of a sense of fairness towards me, to give me some closure, but who the hell cares?!!! Anyway, she tells me the reason why she called it off, and this really blew mines (i.e. pissed me the hell off)!!! This is what she tells me, “I called it off because you’re too religious for me.”. When I saw that as a Facebook message, I was just stunned, and said to myself, “What…the…fuck?!!!”. I was just so perplexed, as to how in the hell could someone ever consider Gareth Bryant “too-religious”.

To me, I could never…ever be religious enough. I mean it’s barely been a whole decade since I’ve stopped smoking weed & partying, and all of the rest of the Non-Islamic behavior that I used to indulge in (most of which I purposely will not reveal on this post). But, I’m just sayin’, how could this “too-religious” stuff possibly be? I look at myself as someone who’s not nearly at the Islamic level that any Muslim should be, especially considering how long I’ve been a Muslim already.

But, just like the title of this post, apparently, I’m just “Too-Religious”. So, needless to say, I was truly taken aback by that. I started to think to myself, “Of all the valid reasons to not marry me, why would anyone choose “too-religious?!!!”. Then, as only she could’ve, she added insult-to injury. She said that what turned her off to me was a conversation that her & I had about my beard. It’s very obvious, for those who know me, or have ever met me, or have seen me lately, that my beard is about 50% of my face right now…..but that’s beside the point. Basically, she had asked me whether I would ever consider cutting, shaving, or trimming my beard, of course me being me said hell no & gave all of the valid Islamic reasons why I would not. She mentioned to me that at that point in our convo, that she decided that she didn’t wanna marry me anymore.

After that, I just said to myself, “Now, ain’t this some bullshit?!!!”. Wait, it doesn’t end here. I was just thinking to myself the irony in all of this: Firstly, she had already met me like this, so it wasn’t just something brand-new to her. Secondly, she admitted it to me herself that it was my religiosity that led her to even want to approach me for marriage in the first place. Thirdly, even if I had just started to grow my beard, so what?!!! How in the hell do you just expect me to leave off something that’s already been established in the Islamic Prophetic-Tradition as being a religious obligation for men, for you?!!! That’s what I really didn’t get at all.

Yet, another irony, out of all of the Non-Muslim females that I’ve ever dealt with, they’ve never had an issue with me being a Muslim, a religious Muslim, or me having any facial hair. But, when a nigga tryin’ to do shit the right way, this one is shittin’ on me because I chose to observe a religious mandate in the Islamic Prophetic-Tradition. That was just astounding to me, really. How the hell is it that the Non-Muslim females that I used to deal with, never complained about my religiosity, yet a Muslim female calls off the prospect of marrying me because of my religiosity?!!! By, Allah, that is completely ass-backwards-If anything, it should be the other way around, where you have Non-Muslim females complaining about the beard, while Muslim females support it.

After this particular fiasco, I just said to myself, “Fuck marriage…..Imma go back to doin’ me!!!”. I was so resentful & bitter that it wasn’t even funny. That situation even began to change the way that I generally viewed Muslim women. I began to think to myself, “If this one thinks like this, then there would have to be many more Muslim women who felt and/or feel the same exact way towards myself and/or other Muslim men who choose to don the beard.” I mean, does having a beard make me look that damn repulsive, huh?!!! Like, someone let me know something!!!

This was something that has had a tremendous affect on me personally as a Muslim, and made me very edgy & self-conscious about my external appearance as a Muslim. I began thinking to myself, “Well, damn…..if this is the case, then no one will marry me.” It was a very depressing time for me. Then, through Allah’s help, I just snapped out of it, and then said to myself, “Fuck it…..I’m gonna grow my beard however long I damn-well please, and whoever doesn’t like it, fuck ’em!!!”. I decided that from then on, I would never, ever, allow anyone to make me feel that way ever again-I would never allow anyone to make me feel that because I want to be more Islamically religious that I’m doing something wrong, or against the norm, or against modernity.

The praise is for Allah, that I came back to reality, and decided that whatever opposition that I may face regarding a Muslim woman, or any woman period, not wanting to marry me as a result of my facial-hair, that I would always reserve the right to just leave them by the waste-side. If a Muslim woman loves Allah, loves His Messenger, loves Islam, then she’ll love that fact that I’ve chosen to commit myself to that which is obligatory upon me as a Muslim, and if she is not willing to do that, then it’s clear that she’s not a person that I would/should ever share my bed with, or have & raise my children with.

I close with this: To all of my Muslim brothers & sisters, who are given a hard time, just because you’re trying your very best to obey Allah & His Messenger, to the very best of your true abilities…..”Fuck the haters!!!”. Keep this as your personal motto, as I intend to keep it as my own, because anyone who doesn’t want you to become more dutiful to Allah & His Messenger is a fucking hater, period. And, if there’s anyone out there, who reads this & doesn’t like whatever I’ve written, then step to me & do something about it, I dare ya!!!

Don’t you ever let anyone make you feel that being a good Muslim isn’t trendy, or cool, or socially acceptable, or popular!!! If you’re a Muslim dude & someone mocks you for having a beard, then let it grow longer, and if  you’re a Muslim female & someone mocks you for wearing a Khimar, then wear the full Hijab, if they mock you for wearing the full Hijab, then wear the Niqab. The opposition that we all face, for trying to obey Allah should encourage us to obey Him more in spite of how much people are against it-Opposition, mustn’t/shouldn’t be used as an excuse to be religious cowards & not adhere to what we know as Muslims to be correct & obligatory. Be your own person, be a leader, not a follower, allow yourself to lead yourself towards the Paradise, and do not allow others to lead you to the Fire!!!

#I’m just sayin’!!!