#Muslims…especially #MuslimReverts and/or Muslims native to the #WesternWorld are in a serious bind & all because of #Islamophobia: it’s turning Parents against Children, Spouse against Spouse, Co-Worker against Co-Worker, Neighbor against Neighbor, Friend against Friend. It’s tearing our Societies apart, and if we study the Sirah/Biography of Muhammad (Peace be upon him), the same thing took place in 7th-century Arabia. And, yes…I know it hurts when someone mocks you for praying, fasting, trying your best to not do negative just to fit-in: I’ve lived it & I’m still living it. But, I’m here to tell you that when Allah rewards those who are sincere to #Islam, in both word & deed, and by His Mercy grants us victory over our Enemies who want nothing more than to display us as blood-thirsty Tyrants, we will ond day look back, laugh, and say to ourselves, “Because I was patient with the trials which Allah imposed upon me, and because I sincerely worked hard to be Good in the face of Evil…this was all worth it: every time I was arrested based on false-charges, stripped-searched & detained at airports, denied jobs/fired from jobs, teased & bullied, forced to fight in order to defend myself, forced to endure the lies against our perfect lifestyle called Islam…it was worth it all.”.
To all who think that killing and/or maiming Innocent, Non-Combatant, Civilians, in the name of Jihad, Islam, is a good thing to do, well…guess what? You’re wrong & you’re not helping Islam spread…you’re causing People to run away from Guidance, you Morons!!! Your antics are merely painting an even darker image of Islam & Muslims, all across the Globe, which is inspiring even more hatred to be fueled. Your actions don’t raise the Banner of Islam, it in fact lowers it. Your taking of Life doesn’t advance the Ummah/Nation of Muhammad (Peace be upon him), it actually shames us. So, please, for futre reference: anyone impressionable enough to join any/all of these Groups, who advocate senseless violence again Innocents, please do yourselves, and the rest of the Believers a favor…just don’t join them. Acts of Oppression are never justified by other acts of Oppression. Do we resist the onslaught of Spiritual-Perversion in our societies…yes. Do we work to make the Din/Religion of Allah supreme…yes. Do we kill anyone/everyone in the process…no.
“And, don’t allow your hatred against any People prevent you from being Just.”
(Noble-Qur’an: Chpt.5, V.8)
This is a true-story, of when I had a very gruesomely hostile argument with my Mother, over Religion. I was still fairly a New-Muslim at the time, and she was vehemently against me being a Muslim in the 1st-place. So, because of her blatant Islamophobia, I began to develop a very toxic hatred in my heart against her. I was very enthusiastic concerning my reversion to Islam: it was (and still is) such a liberating experience. However, unfortunately, I had also made the grave mistake of using my newly-found Monotheistic-Faith as a justification to rebel against my Mother, which I did fairly often. I honestly don’t even remember what we had argued about in detail, nor do I remember how this argument started and/or which one of us started it. I have no recollection of how old I was at the time, nor the time, day, month, season, year; I can’t recall what I had worn that day, or what I ate: none of these details come to my mind. But, I do remember getting angry with my Mother, and I remember what I stated to her, which I’m too ashamed to say publicly. I can still see the pain in her face, as the tears began to roll down her face, flowing from her eyes, like river-streams from a snow-capped Mountain in the Springtime.
I can still envision the look of regret that she had on my face for giving birth to me, because of my vile tantrum of disrespect against her. I can still hear her heart breaking into unrecognizable pieces, because of the harshness of my words spewing from my reckless tongue. This is is the day my cowardice was truly exposed. I had displayed such unforgivable rudeness towards the Woman who birthed me, that had Allah decided to strike me dead, as a punishment, it would’ve been what I deserved. I didn’t even know how to apologize: it was like Allah had decided that my prior insults were so despicable, that I wasn’t even worthy of speaking again. It felt like my tongue was paralyzed & being prevented via Allah’s Divine-Discretion, from even being able to say sorry for what I had said. Now, there I was, a Young-Punk, thinking that I’m a “Tough-Guy”, making my Mother cry, using the same voice that would cry-out to her when I wanted/needed her for love & attention, to cause her pain. I felt so low that day. After our argument, self-witnessing the anguish which I had inflicted upon her started to make me reflect as to whether or not I was even worthy of being a Muslim.
That’s how deeply this event had affected me. And, even to the point when there were times after this that I had wished that I had died, because of the shame I bore: the pain of dealing with the consequences of what I had done felt like I was being destroyed from within. Ironically, many years afterwards, my Mother sent me a text-message, telling me how proud of me she is of the Man that I’ve become. This text made feel feel that my entire existence, prior to that point was useless. I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t remember this argument her & I had. But, I’ve never forgotten it, nor will I allow myself to forget it. That episode in my life is one thing, amongst so many others, which I’ll continually use to keep me humble, as well as humbled. I had actually been thinking a lot about the Verse of the Qur’an that I mentioned earlier, and the more I had thought about it, the more things that I had done, People that I had offended out of hatred began to surface from my subconscious. And, then, this incident between my Mother & I resurfaced within me, and it took me to a place of reflection that I didn’t want to be taken, but it was a necessary place to be.
Particularly, and especially as Muslims: it doesn’t matter who opposes your Islam, it gives us no right to treat them unjustly. All Human beings have the right to be treated fairly. And, those who have the greatest rights over us are our Parents. And, the Parent who has the most rights over us are our Mothers.(an-Nawawi) Our jobs as Children are to care for our Parents, in the same ways which they’ve cared for us when we were young & helpless.(Noble-Qur’an: Chpt.17, V.24) And, for a long time, I had done the exact opposite of caring for my Mother, spending more time causing her grief as opposed to joy. When I began to comes to terms about the wrongs against my own Mother, I started to reflect upon how my Mother would always tell my siblings & I growing-up, that our Father always wanted us & told us to listen to our Mother. My Father was my hero growing-up. So, when he died when I was very young, I was only left with memories of him & from what others including my Mother had told me about him.
I started to think about how could I possibly face my Father, knowing what I had done against my own Mother. Then, an even greater fear encompassed me: how am I going to face Allah: the Creator/Lord of the Universe & answer to Him on the Day of Standing for the wrongs that I’ve done against my own Mother? It’s popularly said that “The Wise-Man is he who learns from the Errors of Others.”. So, be wise & learn from my Errors: don’t make your Mothers cry…don’t be Cowards.
Pitch black, quiet…nothing moves, it’s silent.
Darkness covers the Sky as I tread defiant.
I once was beloved, now I am so hated.
At one time victorious, now so defeated.
Loneliness fills all of my mind with agony.
Still as a stagnant River frozen by apathy.
Around many, yet distant from all.
None to feel my pain, hear my call.
Looking for closeness with anyone.
What a test for me, to be so alone.
Oftentimes, I feel dead, yearning for the free-flow of Life.
No worries about foes or dangers, not even fears of strife.
Alas, the irony is that there’s a morbid comfort in Obscurity.
It sometimes protects us from self-torture & offers security.
I tell myself each day I breathe, “Fall back this is wack!!!”:
Stop living in the Past, you gotta just stop treading back.
Why continue to love one who don’t even love you back?
I keep reminding myself, “Just chill, and stay Trill”:
When Others are Fake, you just have to stay Real.
Don’t kill yourself pleasing People for their appeal.
However, I’m constantly pulled-back, into the grasp of Foolery.
I wanna be free of all negativity, but change is too new to me.
I wish my Heart thought like my Mind, to simply want Liberty.
People always want what they want outta you.
Once they’ve had their fill, you’re expendable.
It’s easy pretending to care for someone, when needing them.
After you’re where you wanna be, you then treat them terrible.
That’s just the way Life goes: back & forth between what feels good versus what’s good for us.
Constantly battling within, internally, deciding whether to do right or simply surrender to lust.
Sometimes the People we enjoy the most love us the least.
Just trying to keep us around, tied to that gold-plated leash.
But, just like their adornments, it’s only superficial.
Dig deeper & you’ll see they’re truly bitter & brittle.