There’s this love-hate relationship that I have with Guilt…
…One that forces me to behave as I should do, to the hilt.
Breaking-up is the very hardest when you try to distance you from yourself, to break away from your very own conscience.
There’s always this sense of detachment, you feel that you are held back by reservation, to pursue and take advantage.
This consistent “make-up-to-break-up”, with regretting sin’s past, always compels me to remember the purpose of my mundane course.
I’m always enthralled, to concede to keeping you near, although your constant reminders of my wrong-doing make me feel worse.
When I commit misdeeds, you’re right there, all the time, telling me, “I told you so!!!”.
I am oftentimes found shooing you away, saying, “Leave me!!!”, as well as, “Just go!!!”.
My life has often lead me down the road of resentment, me even wishing to forget my own oppression.
The mere thoughts of knowing that I’ve wronged, yet did not care, drives me towards dark depression.
It’s like my conscience taunts me, as if exclusively instructed, by Allah, to keep me grounded, to avoid me from attaining Arrogance.
And, it reminds me that if I refuse to improve, I may very well die prideful, without any more opportunities for a 2nd-chance.